|My determinations are as strong as iron pillar and emotions as delicate as morning dew.|
Objectivist: Intersecting lines definitely meet once but they drift apart forever whereas parallel lines do not meet but are together forever. Relationships ( of any kind) I believe should be like parallel lines than Intersecting.
The plane of parallel lines are the same just they do not meet. These lines if assumed as relationship do not tend to dilute the wholeness of two individuals, they walk side by side respecting each other's individuality and remaining together till infinity.
Once upon a time, in far east there was a blossoming love story dependent on cost centre budget. Tragedy struck, it lead to crisis in cost centre and all love withered away.
I have learnt to be thankful in happiness and to yearn in peace. Lately I realized how strong are the words " much" and "affection".
With much affection
'With much affection' i sit here again,
to write something for you,
Threre has been strange silent days
and mute months between us.
I am sure you do not take me as cruel
as i do not think you to be wicked.
I know you struggle with your dreams
as much as i struggle with them.
Those strange elevated dreams
that take us to the mountains,
and bring us back to the valleys.
These dumb days are mistaken
identities of the false peace.
Every interrupted dialogue we had;
we found solace and companionship.
I am no cruel you are no wicked;
We are just ...
This morning, I woke up after a strange dream. I dreamt of people, who no longer are part my life, smiling at me. I sensed a peace in their smiles. As I try walking to them all of them disappeared.
I believe nothing in our lives is more worthy than of thought and contemplation than the dream we have, and I dream a lot. But I do not usually remember my dreams unless they are about those whom I love, which is why I am confused, perturbed and worried this morning.
Sometimes life puts you in one mess to pull you out from another. ☺.
Sometimes life purposely put you in one message to pull you out from another bigger mess. Stay calm and face it, it’s not that bad at all ☺
I cannot give up on fairy tales. Giving up is so not me.
So, now that you are not hearing from me much; I assume you are missing me less. My pictures may not be reminding you of me now. As we say " out of sight, out of mind". I hope you are doing fine and you must be at little peace. I won't lie but I miss you a lot. Everytime I want to check on you I am reminded of my promise; promise to help you make your life easier. I control my emotions. I check your last seen status it relieves me to know that at least you are doing okay. I cannot even ask you to start fresh as I am too numb and you too dead. Is there an alternative? Is there any solution you have in your mind?
I am keeping my promise hope you too can. I am deleting one picture of o...
City of Memories
There was lot to say, don’t you think so?
You chose to walk away without looking back.
I stood there, waiting for you to come and speak.
My mind plays with me all the time.
Easy to say, it is, to move on!
How could I, when I designed my life with you?
You chose to walk away without looking back.
Do you know how I feel,
When I look at our old pictures?
Those images encage me in the memories of past.
I am still entangled in those moments.
Too frozen to, take a step ahead.
You chose to walk away without looking back.
While I kept thinking what went wrong.
You claimed to never leave me midway.
Perhaps your feelings may have changed
I no longer exist for you
You maybe ha...
“There comes a point when you feel nothing about things happening around you. That is the state of sheer numbness. Scary state it is! Either we are too fed up of pointless drama or we are being to brittle only to break later.
I have reached a point where I keep staring at wall for ours, without crying and thinking about the people who left me. I am not angry at anyone. But I wonder how they must be feeling by abandoning me. I need to take rejections sportingly. I fear to trust now and this fear is closing down all the options in my life. I have lost many nice people, I have lost many friends and I have lost Alwin now,” said Meera to her therapist, playing with tea coaster at the table.
He is too worked up and cannot plan his trip to meet her. It's already been a year since they saw each other. She is gradually giving up on distance not on him. This distance and his ignorance made her sad most of the days. She woke up with a grief of not seeing him around. He felt her sadness but could do nothing much about it. Guilt in him was killing him.
There are many people whom I care about but do not want to initiate conversation with. There 'last seen' status on social media gives me peace of mind that in some corner of this world they are doing okay.
He promised her to come back soon and she promised to wait for him. They disappeared in thick fog and never saw each other again.
Minneapolis to Mumbai; 13000 kms, who will take that first step to bridge this distance. He was in love with the USA and she was overwhelmed with INDIA
13000 kms! He was in Minneapolis and she in Mumbai. It was already quite a distance still they needed space from each other.
This is a confusing love story of two confused people, who met 7 years back. They liked each other but couldn't be together because distance between then was stronger than love they had for each other.
Fear of abandonment and rejection surrounds all of us only degree varies. Lately I realized, rejections are not of people but of the energies. We cannot match our energies with certain people to have meaningful connection and it becomes too much for us to take. We play safe, we do not want to pay that price of connection that is too high for us to pay.
Meera and Alwin did the same. Very first time they met their energies melted in each other and they felt like one. Alwin realized later, to match Meera's energy he has too pay much higher price and that price was letting go off his ego. How could he have done that? All his life he has been facing all kind rejections that resulted into his so...
Alwin, you always wanted to have a strongest story with difficult past to gain all sympathy. When you found me, you wanted to feel like a baby. I did nothing like that. You were insecure; impatient. You wanted all attention. I wanted to give you all but gradually so that I can tame that stubborn child in you. All I wanted was little time and what you did not have was time. My mind wanders on the streets we walked together. I still worry about you when your 'last seen' is more than 24 hours. You left me too crippled, I cannot even know how you must be doing and this is all because of your stubbornness. You hate me because of my sadness and I hate you because of your stubbornness. Let's keep...
"I m filled with sadness and darkness. At first you may not see that as my sadness is bright illusion. I lure you with my light to pull you in my sadness. More you plunge deep into me, more you will dive into my darkness. Did I ever tell you to jump into me. Now that you have already dived in do not blame me for my sadness, Alwin. I am a harmless illusion, you made your choice to enter this illusion. Find your way to come out of it. I cannot help you. If hate helps you to sail back, please keep that hate strong to build the finest submarine that will bring you to surface of light, Alwin. I was not a lie, I was truth that your eyes chose to see. Do not blame me and my sadness," said Meera to...
Meera did cry, Alvin. As she moved to gate no. 2 to board her flight. She cried for you. Meera did cry for Alwin.
He kept watching her till she disappeared among ocean of people. Holy Shit! What did he do? He added little bit more to her pains. Oh No! Please I hope flight gets canceled and she comes back again. I hate her sadness not her. Why do I need to complicate things? Who am I? A rockstar? Please take me back to those days, I want to mend things up. This is not me. What did I do?
He: I dont want to drink your sadness.
She: You were the one to scratch my sadness.
He: You are beautiful woman but I hate your sadness. You remind me of my mother.
She: Someday, not today, when you are more focused and I m more sorted we will resume our story. My thoughts are unclear and brain is molasses
He: I wish u were same person whom I met first time. Meera, I don't want to see you ever again. You are so like my mother. Please leave me now. We will cross our paths again to begin where we left from.
She didn't cry, she just left. She was neutral. With a smile on her face she entered the airport
You are a beautiful person Meera but you are layered with blankets of sadness. I am not the one who can uncover these blankets for you. You are sad and I hate you for that. You will not believe but you need some serious help. My heart aches to know that somebody so beautiful is filled with sadness from head to toe. First time I saw you; you were a complete lie an illusion. I found happy and carefree girl in you but Meera you are a lie. You are sadness a complete objective sadness and I hate you.
She asked me, "Do you trust me?" So difficult was the question. I did not want to answer her. Of course I trusted her but I did not want her to know this. With smile on my face and lust in my eyes I said, "yes I trust you". We melted in each others arms. I caressed her cheeks and gently kissed her lips. That was the best feeling I had in many many months. I never made this evident to her but in her I found peace and I hated this peace. She was messed up from head to toe. I want to meet more people to get over her.
I whispered in her ears, do you trust me? " I am a risk taker and with you I am taking risks," she replied.
.....to be cont'd
"Sometimes you get messed up in all possible ways. Finding peace in piles of mess is what I need to learn and I am sure I will learn it someday," said Meera. Her eyes were deep as an ocean and mind, waves. Her thoughts kept her engaged all the time. Every time I speak to her I feel I speak to myself. She doesn't ask questions but she says, she listens. Such a complicated person. She annoyed me all the time but something kept me connected to her. I hated her, I hated her sadness and I hated Meera. I hated her for not being with me. I hated her for being so complicated. I wonder what Meera feels when she says she likes being with me. I left her this morning with a promise to never to see he...
The Wedding Ring
Three years later,
I thought of that wedding ring.
It must be still kept there,
In that box at the corner table
Table, which lined all my cosmetics.
Now, that box must be covered
with layers of dust.
I m sure u wouldn't have unlocked
that box, yet.
That box also had a wrist watch
you gifted me to keep check on time.
That watch must have stopped at 9.45 PM
That unfateful hour.
Three years later, when
I sit at my window sill
I think about 9.45 PM,
that golden wrist watch,
Dusty gift box and the wedding ring,
which is unnoticed yet.
Everything happens for a reason; right from losing your gate pass to waiting in a queue for your turn. You never know, which catalyst stands next to you to fasten chain reaction of your life.😊
I still like stories that starts with " Once upon a time" and ends with " ....and they lived happily ever after."
I am doing great, thought to check with you as well. Hope you are fine and using all tricks I taught you to be happy and content. I told you 😊 listen to me and you will be fine.
Something remains the same....
“I travel back to times
when things were okay.
I often sit in that old library.
Books on shelves are
untouched for years now
and pages, yellow and weak.
But there is something
that has not changed.
Room is still filled with
First page of books,
Still has your name written.
Corner of the shelf still has
A dried ink pot and
a pen with broken nib.
But there is something
That is not broken and dried.
I guess it is feelings we had.
Random book I picked
From shelf, had our picture,
With little less wrinkled faces of ours.
It’s been 20 years now
Our faces have changed.
There is something that
Has not changed.
I like reading short stories than complex novels. They are definite, easy to comprehend and I can read as many times as I want and always feel words more.