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Ri0tGrrl

PO# 494951
Canada
Canada
The thoughtful hermit. Open mind, searching for knowledge.
March 24, 2019
 



I'm not sure if this is a recent trend, or something that's been going on for decades, but I've noticed something alarming. People are outright refusing to believe facts if they conflict with their position/world view. I'm not sure if this is some sort of macabre trend or maybe they're just getting more attention now... Either way, I believe its spreading like a plague and I'm concerned about the ramifications.

Politics is becoming ever more polarized, and has been for the last decade or more. Instead of working in tandem with people from different places or those with differing opinions, people have started to isolate to their own groups. A hundred ye...

WHITE CLOCK
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July 5, 2018
 

STORYTIME

"While he was feeling better... Something was still giving him anxiety. He couldn't understand what it was until he opened that book. Something fell out and as he picked it up from the ground..."

It was an old Polaroid photo. It depicted what appeared to be a scene taken from the window of a house. Behind the glass was an old dusty road, with a large tree with bare branches. In the background behind the road was a landscape of dry cracked dirt, and in the distance the visage of one or two other houses could be seen. Framing this bleak landscape was the window frame - chipped white paint, steaks of dust. He noticed the bottom part of the frame had dozens of nails hammered in.

He ...

FREEDOM
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November 23, 2017
 

ON CONSENT & TRAVEL

I read an article once about a man from a middle eastern country in court in North America for sone kind of spousal abuse. His lawyer was trying to argue that being from a different culture where hitting or forcing yourself on your wife is fine, therefore he should be pardoned.

I don’t follow that logic at all. If you’re going to travel or immigrate to another country that has different cultural norms, then do some research first. Find out how marriage or sexual relationships work in that place, so you don’t offend anyone or wind up in prison.

A similar thing happened with a man being charged for sexual assault against a woman. If you’re going on vacation, and want to...

POETRY BOOKS
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July 22, 2017
 

•DREAM POV•

Lately I've been more able to recall more of my dreams and I noticed something interesting.
In at least 30 to 40 percent of the dreams I remember, I'm not even present at all.

Sometimes it will feel like a movie, where Im a third person watching the events. Other times I'll be experiencing everything in first person viewpoint, but Im not myself. Almost like I took over someones body.
The thing that's really odd though, is that I can never recognize the people Im following around.

If I've never met them in my waking life, how do they manage to sneak into my sleeping mind?

If anyone can relate to this, or even give me some theories it would be much appreciated.

- S.L. {X!}...

MULTI COLORED ILLUSIONS
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June 30, 2017
 

-ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR-
A PERSPECTIVE

This is a well known quote, often used to shirk responsibility after someone does harm.

I personally feel like there have to be limits in every aspect of life. Especially when dealing with such tumultuous  parts of humanity such as love and war.

When it comes to love, there have to be boundaries. It isn't fair to manipulate your partner, or cut them off from friends and family. It wouldn't be fair to expect your lover to give everything to someone who only knows how to take.

Fairness in love comes from mutual respect and trust. In a truly loving union, neither party should ever push their lover to despair.

When speaking of war, the only reaso...

MARTHA LUCIA
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June 21, 2017
 

WTD: LEADER VS WINNER

When I thought about these two words together, I found that they describe almost opposing traits.

A leader is the social one. Leaders can work with any team of people and make it work. They stand  firm with their group. After all, you can't be a leader when you're alone.

A winner on the other hand, is the best out of the bunch. They overcame every person in between them and the prize title of being "the best".
And once there, all those who were tossed out of the way, or left alone aren't going to be winners too. There can only be one winner after all.

•Leader - sociable, team player
•Winner - gets to be alone at the top.

-S.L. {X!}

GREEN AND YELLOW SWIRL
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June 10, 2017
 

•LESSONS FROM LOVE•

In my 25 years of life thus far, Ive had a handful of serious relationships. Unfortunately, every one of them was an absolute disaster, in fact I had given up on finding someone... of course thats when I was reacquainted with the man who became my other half.

I truly believe that when a relationship fails, taking the time to think about WHY it didn't work out, and how to avoid such heartbreak in the future.

One major piece of advice for those who're still searching for love;
Don't rush into things because you're afraid of being alone. The 2 years I was single really helped me figure out the person I am. Sometimes you can lose sight of that when you're always part of a...

JE T'AIME
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June 3, 2017
 

*FEELS LIKE HOME*

While my man love was out the other day, I realized that when we're apart, theres a void.

Of course I knew already how in sync we are, how we can always help the other person work out the thing they're trying to think of. How safe I feel knowing that no matter what happens, my Man will stand with me (to fight if need be).

But it occurred to me then for the first time that my apartment doesn't really even have the right feel to it if we're apart.

I remember before we got together, my anxiety was active almost all the time. Im not a weak or timid girl by any means, but having to worry about everything, and knowing Im the only one I can truly count on... it weighed on my...

STEPANKA H.
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May 31, 2017
 

[ONE QUESTION]

If I had the worlds attention for a brief moment, the question I'd ask is;

Why do so many people feel so much anger and hatred towards people they don't know.

It's something thats been brewing for some time now, especially online.

People have month long arguments with someone over Youtube. Or maybe someone angered the wrong person, and they'll become a target of rampant harassment by hundreds.
Anyone who comes across as being "not normal" will get death threats from strangers.

It's the huge effort and time these bullies put into it that's utterly baffling. So much energy wasted on making some strangers life more miserable.

Though, at this point, it's so widespread tha...

ORANGE IT UP
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May 30, 2017
 

PROMISES

At times I feel like the only person in my town that understands what a promise actually is.

I see it time and time again, people use the word to further their own ends and manipulate people. To them its like a magic spell that enables them to seem trustworthy.

Even the least naive among us will try to see the best in the people they love. Even if that means looking past all the tattered, broken promises of yesterday.

Ive had more than one person in my life who would make countless promises, which inevitably led to the same tired apologies.

A promise is a pact. Its you letting someone know they can trust you at your word.
I feel VERY strongly about this. I would absolutel...

MIDNIGHT
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May 17, 2017
 

•Honesty•

Lies are a major part of social interaction. I have no issues telling little untruths to people in a FEW situations; if you're trying to spare someones feelings. Or to ensure that you don't crush the dreams of children.

Years ago, my life was very tumultuous. The boyfriends I was with, along with the lifestyle I was living; it was hard to keep track of the validity of everything.

Now that I'm past that stage in my life, truth and honesty is one of my foremost morals.
In my opinion, being truly honest with yourself all the time is absolutely crucial. It's extremely dangerous for your mental health to lie to yourself.

To be a more open, honest, and forthright person - it begins...

ART BANDIT
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March 21, 2017
Timmins, Canada


ONE YEAR

Though it's hard to believe, I reconnected with the love of my life one year ago. Bliss, it turns out, makes time stop being an unending crawl and becomes quicker than ever before.

No longer am I going through life alone, in hiding, and isolated. Finally I have a partner, and one that returns all the love and respect I give to him.

Some people say, "She's my better half." That's not how I feel with my man. To me he's my OTHER half, a part that I needed to be complete. Finally the hole that I felt in the core of my soul has been filled. Now I no longer have to keep searching for an unknown prize.

Before he messaged me, I had given up on having love. I had tried a few times, a...

NICK WALKER
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August 27, 2016
 

I'm not sure which I prefer, people stealing from me openly or thinking they're outsmarting me.
I've had people steal from me many a time, especially back when I used to talk to people. On one hand I'm not partial to shady people. I don't like people sneaking around, having self serving machinations.
I generally prefer people to be open and honest, but seeing someone take what's minewhile I'm openly looking at them is a whole other kind of infuriating.

PANELS
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August 3, 2016
 

#SOTD

I've been waiting to write about the man in my life for some time now, and today's SOTD fits this perfectly.

Justin and I met in high school. He was in grade 12, I was in grade 9. He was my first serious boyfriend, the first man I gave myself to. We dated for about 8 months before I broke up with him. We were both in very tumultuous places in life, and I wanted to see what else life had to offer. But Justin was very much my first love, and always in my heart.

After six years of one abusive relationship after another, I had remained single for two years. I didn't even socialize with anyone, and only really left my apartment when necessary.
I was surprised when he started talk...

DIAMOND
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July 31, 2016
Timmins, Canada

#WIW

Throughout my life, Ive had issues expressing myself verbally. Its almost like wires are crossed between my brain and Im often surprised at the words being said in my voice.

The very worst is when Im on the phone. I always get anxiety when talking on the phone, so the mixed up words, and awkward stuttering can be a real disaster.

For some reason, I communicate the best when I can skip the whole "verbal communication" scene. On the page, I never stumble over a word. Im able to describe my feelings and thoughts clearly.

In the past I was an avid Journal writer. Putting pen to page would often help me sort through events and emotions in a way my spastic brain wouldn't allow ...

QUESTION
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April 1, 2016
 

A MOTHER'S VANITY

I have a four year old boy, and I can't fathom other young mothers that make no effort to look presentable. I could Maybe understand if she has two or three and is a single parent, but it doesn't take long to spruce yourself up.

One peeve of mine is parents that don't even change from their pj's.
If you're going out in public, you're representing both you and your kid. It takes me 10 - 15 mins to get dressed, and put simple make up on.

Honestly, my mom was always dressed whenever we were out, and her clothes weren't sloppy or too riské.

I remember the kids who's mom's made no effort. They were teased relentlessly. If I can avoid my boy being targeted in just 10 - 15 m...

BARNEY
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March 25, 2016
 

HONOR

I love the concept of honor. It goes hand in hand with loyalty, another concept I'm fond of. Unfortunately, I've encountered very little of either in my life.

Now, I don't know if it's because of where I live, or perhaps it's because of the awful company I kept for most of my teen/ adult life. Maybe in other places, other people have a sense of honor.

To me honor is a sense of obligation. A code of honor is a set of rules that a person decides to live ones life by, to keep their life heading on the right path. A general outline of where the line is and how to avoid crossing it.

I can probably name the people I've met who adhered to such a concept  on one hand. And frankly, that con...

LETTRS TEAL
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March 24, 2016
 

HERMIT NO MORE

So, your friendly neighborhood hermit has finally found a boyfriend. After two and a half years of avoiding humanity entirely I've shacked up with my very first serious boyfriend  once more.

So to the Lettrs community, I ask; At what point do you use the loaded 'L' word when in a relationship? (L meaning Love, not Lesbian)

{X!}

WHAT DO YOU SEE?
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March 19, 2016
 

FACEBOOK HATERS

My patience is wearing very thin with Facebook as a whole.  People are at their worst there. The certain amount of anonymity that comes with posting online, mixed with the fact that basically every person you've ever been acquainted with has one... It causes trouble.

I recently started a new relationship, so I posted the relationship change on my wall. Within an hour someone NY boyfriend used to sleep with had left a very obscene comment (the word rape was used just to show you the scale).

Since I don't have internet at home, I had to leave it there overnight. My mom AND Grandma had to see it.

Personally, if I have a problem with someone, I inbox them. How come no one res...

BLUE WHIRL
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September 20, 2015
Timmins, Canada

ABSENTEE PARENTS

I know multiple people (men AND women) who became parents and in time, completely vanished from thier kids lives. Some people only met thier child once or twice, others were part of the daily routine for several weeks, and one mother had her kids everyday for four YEARS before deciding parenthood wasn't for them.

I have a major problem understanding this phenomenon. I have a son who's almost four years old... Ever since I first held him after my C-Section, I vowed to do my best for him. Regardless of how hard my life gets, I pull it together and make an effort to be the best parent I can.

How can someone create a human life, decide to raise that child, then cop out - drop...

RUMA ZAIDI
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August 22, 2015
Timmins, Canada

THOUGHTS ON REVENGE

The term "Revenge is a dish best served cold." has never rang true to me. When I think about revenge as a concept, it feels hot - like seething rage. Also, revenge is rarely "served". That sounds far too polite and together for the overall feel of the word.

In my more troubled days, I was a big fan of revenge. I could hold a grudge for years, and always invent new ways of getting even.
Looking back, having that kind of malice inside really weighs you down. Once I learned to let go of all the past wrongs, it took so much emotional weight off me.
So to all those in Lettrs land... try to just let things slide now and then. You'll feel so much better!

- S.L. {X!}

BITTER
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August 11, 2015
Timmins, Canada

TENDER TUESDAY - MY FEAR OF LOVE

I have always been a very passionate and emotional person. Growing up, I often got into trouble at school for my outbursts. It took me a very long time (years) to be able to rein it in at all -  its this ever present compulsion.
Its almost like all the regular feelings I have are constantly on meth... heightened, erratic, and rapid. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining at all. I used to date a guy who was almost completely detached from his emotions. I always got the feeling that he was really missing out on his own life experience. Never truly PRESENT.
My passion allows me to really experience my journey. Unfortunately, its also the reason I get so...

WILTED
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August 8, 2015
Timmins, Canada

A FRIEND INDEED?

One thing I've struggled with for my whole life is the natural social ability that others seem to have. I say things that seem fine to me, end up coming off offensive or  "weird". Social skills have never come naturally to me, and as a result the main cause of my anxiety is interacting with others.

A specific aspect of this that has often puzzled me is how a social relationship develops. How do you know when you've gone from acquaintances, to friends? I'm never certain just where I stand with others.

To further complicate matters, I have a personality disorder. This directly affects how I view relationships with others, so you can see how I would be concerned.

I used to ...

ANGEL BREATHING
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August 5, 2015
Timmins, Canada

RE: A MILLION LITTLE PIECES

For those who don't remember, 'A Million Little Pieces' is a book that became popular years ago when it was featured on Oprah. Soon after, the author was outed as a fraud. The book - which was labeled an autobiography, was full of embellishments and outright lies.
The subject matter is supposed to be the author's (James Frey) time in a drug and alcohol treatment center, and his journey to get clean. Even if I hadn't heard of Frey's rise and fall in the literary world, there were a few things that were red flags, and others that were very troubling.
As a person who has struggled with addiction for YEARS, and has been to three inpatient treatment centers (plus more ...

JULI
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July 30, 2015
Timmins, Canada

HOW LETTRS HAS REKINDLED MY LOVE

I've always loved writing but low self-esteem, coupled with some privacy breaches of my Journals... I had hid anything I wrote. Eventually, I stopped writing for YEARS.

Since I'm past any troubled waters now, I saw Lettrs on Google Play and really loved the concept. I wasn't nervous to write here because I'm actually giving permission on Lettrs, and if anyone didn't care for it, I probably won't know at all.
The crazy amount of themes, stamps, and contests to partake in - that's such a big deal to me. Even when I do journals in my daily life, I always write with different colours and buy my diaries that have patterns instead of plain.

Being able to make ...

THANK YOU
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July 28, 2015
Timmins, Canada

YOU DRAG YOUR COFFIN AROUND

One of my favorite songs by Rancid is Django. And before anyone asks, the song was released years before the Tarantino movie - they're different artworks.

The premise of the song is that the title character Django holds all of his past misery and sorrow with him at all times. I'll let the real song lyrics explain;

"Django, you drag your coffin around - all around. Just like a dead man does!"

Those lyrics have always stuck with me because of how strongly worded they are, and how very much I understood the comparison.

Life is a tricky road for EVERYONE. All of us in the human race have felt heartache, carried the guilt of a wrong, or been ashamed of how things ...

SHHHHHH… PEOPLE ARE STAMPING
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July 21, 2015
Timmins, Canada

LOVED ONE IN PRISON?

As someone who's been both in jail, and had my boyfriend + father in and out  go to jail while I wasn't, I wanted to share some thoughts and advice for those on the outside.

When someone important in your life messes up enough that society has deemed it suitable for them to be removed from society, it can cause a whole plethora of feelings/emotions. You could be mad at them for messing up,  feel abandoned by them, be sad that you won't be able to have "normal" contact with them, its a rollercoaster.

Speaking from the side of the incarcerated, I can tell you that the major reason I was able to do my 90 days intact was the support I had from my family on the outside. P...

BARBED WIRE
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July 17, 2015
Timmins, Canada

FROM CHILD TO PARENT

My 5th birthday was the best day I can remember from my childhood. Actually, I don't remember very many details from any other birthday... But my 5th birthday - I can distinctly recall the whole day.

My mom had made rice krispies with rainbow sprinkles on top for the whole class (Junior Kindergarten). This was a big deal because she hardly ever made treats, and this is the only time I can remember her making anything.
Everyone was really excited and the whole class sang 'Happy Birthday' just for me. Plus, it was pizza day!

After lunch, it was recess time. I got to play at the very best spot, on top of the hill. Children would fight over that spot, and for that day it...

UNWRAP EXCITEMENT
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July 9, 2015
Timmins, Canada

WEEKLY TOPIC - ARCADE FIRE

When I read the assignment for this weeks topic, I had a hard time deciding who to write to. There's so many musicians, artists, writers, ect that have changed my life. When I really reflected on my most recent turmoils, it occurred to me that one group in particular helped me the greatest.

The music of Arcade Fire has been giving me strength for about the last three years. Thier songs are so powerful, and I love how they're written.  

Songs like "Tunnels" and "Reflektor" allow me to get lost in the music, and help me clear my head. When I need to sing my heart out, I have songs like "Black Mirror" and "Wake Up".

The most important song to me is " Ready to Star...

KNUCKLE TALK
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