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The irony is, people whom you once loved the most, hurt you in a loop to a point when you become heartless & numb, expecting you to return as and when they desire with the same amount of love!
Maybe it's time to collect our broken pieces and walk on.
Memories are bittersweet & will stay forever till your death bed but if there is a slightest chance that future can hold something better, then why not be a little selfish & just give it a shot!
Afterall the choice is in our hand, how to spend the rest of our life.
Sometimes, remembering our best life moments make us feel like day dreaming about our unfulfilled fantasies.
It's a complete mayhem inside,
Which can't be fought.
You see those moist eyes,
Inside it's a river.
You look at me.
And I smile back.
I stare at your empty shoulder
Dying to cry my heart out in them,
But everything just flickers.
Knock in my mind.
"It's not easy, not even reality!
Just bury everything deeper!"
As I hear such whispers.
Now, it's a pile.
Pile of things drowning me down.
Even then I smile,
Thinking maybe someday,
I would fall into your arms.
You'll run out of tissues for my tears.
We'll sit with a cup of CHAI & say cheers!
I would hear you out with your deepest secrets.
Chhaap chhod jaate hai,
Hummein bhula kar.
Daang chhod jaate hai,
Gehre ghav de kar.
Ankhon mein naami,
Joo kabhi hassi thi.
Sile hothon mein kabhi,
Alfaazon ki naa kammi thi.
Joo yakeen dangmaga jata hai.
Dard ko lori ki tarah,
Reh raat sunna jata hai.
Kuch yaadein hai,
Denying the voices,
I hear so loud.
Echoing in me
Ego's what I think about.
While my emotions flood out.
Flashes in circles
And heart is at ache.
Dilemma of right or wrong
Is what I hate.
I hear them once,
I hear them thrice.
This guilt within me,
I cannot deny.
It's hard to speak,
It's hard to lie.
The only way to freedom is to say "I apologise".
Ever felt difficult to apologise for something?
Yes, we all face this! But your real freedom is in apology!
Hiding from demons,
While they lie within.
Fighting for something,
While left with nothing.
Hoping to see light,
While watching it fade.
Saying goodbyes to the things,
That once were for forever's sake.
Wishing to not let go,
Watching your hopes burn in a blow.
All you hear are screams,
Breaking through the nightmares that you've ever seen.
While demons crawling within,
Getting your heart grow cold as you're asleep.
The minute you think, this is it. You cannot be drowned deeper. The strings attached to you pull you deeper and deeper until you feel suffocated, alone, surrendered and accept your defeat!
There're times, when you just want to be left alone to figure out things by your self, that's what the "Me Time" is all about. It's not always necessary to hang out with people. Sometimes, you really need to talk to yourself, to face the reality, to learn and understand things, to enjoy your own company and do some self analysis.
And there're times, when you just throw people aside for a while, who're ready to be there for you at every point of life, when, from inside you're actually dying to share, to talk, to scream and to cry in those caring arms.
You think, you can figure out things by yourself as you do always. You just try to put barriers and con...
There're times, when you just want yourself to stay away from people, thoughts, chaos & emotions.
When you don't want to share, just let yourself breath in peace.
When you don't want to smile, just be in silence.
When you aren't willing to let out things that hurt you, breaking into pieces.
When you want to drown in it more & more, just to measure it's extremes.
There are times, when you want to be alone. Walking on the roads, that are unseen.
Life keeps us knocking down with it's punches and we just swing to and fro like a punch bag.
We bleed out of emotions. We're caged out of our own thoughts. Our wounds internal and our treatment is just love.
Love, that maybe in the form of an other person or our own self.
HINDI POETRY: AAS
Ghar ke konno mein awaazein gunjati hai
Aur mann ke bheetar hai sirf sawaal.
Shabd khoo gaye hai mujh mein kuch iss tarah jaise
Paani mein khoyi hui aasuon ki boond.
Farak naa padke bhi farak padta hai
Mann hi mann koi khayaal bhitar se mujhe jhanjodta hai.
Dard itna hai ki jaise dil, dimaag or mann koo kass ke nichod diya hoo.
Himmat aur saahas ne saath mein dum tod diya hoo.
Aasuon kaa her ek katra aankhon koo dhundhla kar jata hai.
Roshini kuch iss tarah se gayi hai
Ki sach kya hai? Aur kon hai apna?
Vahi nahi samjh aata hai.
Sawaal itne hai
Aur jawaabon ki khabar nahi.
Khudme aise uljhi hun aaj
Ki raaston o...
The obvious thing about strange things is that, you know about it's uncertainty; and the strange thing about the obvious things is that you never doubt on it's certainity. That's when life gives you surprises and you stand stunned at it's events.
People who tell me that "you've changed!"
And yes, I did.
Because I can feel myself murdered with the laden of my life.
I've no guts,
But do have the thoughts of suicide.
I feel like a prisoner,
Who's caged for several years.
Who's mind is shrinking
And heart is drought & at the same time, dunk in fears.
That the happy kid inside me has been kidnapped from a while.
In search of it,
There's no one out there, for me, to pay the ransom,
That is, their love & their time.
You say, you stand by my side.
And I fear this intimacy will for once choke my breaths.
You say a few beautiful lines.
And ask me, why like before, I don't react?
Photographs on the back wall, that remind me of my childhood days.
Cold breeze through my window, knocking with the sound of rains.
The serene view of peace, when I peep outside, standing near my window.
My cupboards are all decorated with the motivations, that I've penned for my lows.
A perfect room to live & make me happy.
But there's this one thing, that I ignore or it ignores me!
Everytime I stand in front of it,
I see myself growing older.
Everytime I see it closely,
I judge myself.
Everytime we made a contact,
It showed me my sins.
Everytime I tried to recognise,
It showed me my downfalls.
It's a deep rooted fear, that grew with time.
Doubting my existen...
Dark & starry sky,
With scary voices of strom.
While my room was locked in deep silence.
Tick-tocks of clock
Ponding my heartbeats by every minute.
There was nobody outside
And I could feel the sprinkles of wild rains on my face.
Sitting cozy on my bed
I listed out every negative thing that could've happened to me.
I slipped my hand outside my comforter
To grab some water for inner peace.
Everything was blank
And my head was spinning with some flashback memories.
All I remembered was
I'd my dinner with everyone downstairs & went asleep.
I got up out of my bed
I knew, it wasn't a mirage as this place was familiar.
I peeped outside the wind...
How could I forget the arms,
That wrapped me around with love.
Eyes which never lied to me,
Just showered trust.
But maybe someday time will teach me,
Cause nothing can only go on without trust.
Dear Maa and Papa,
For years and years you've held each other's hand,
Without any regrets.
I've seen that love inside you,
Which always, binds you both together.
That smile on Mumma's face,
When you compliment her or feel proud as she's your wife.
That pure love and care which Mumma gives to Papa,
With selflessness, by complete surrender.
I've see you scolding Mumma,
When she go careless for her health and you stay awake for her till late nights.
The way you tease Mumma,
By reading out those "Husbands are the real victim in a marriage" kind of jokes,
That gets her angry,
Resulting in a sweet and sour kind of agruements.
And when Mumma expresses her rights over you,
By taunting, when yo...
Your ten-digit phone number,
Today, feels so lengthy to type.
Fingers are trembling,
Sweating like penaltised without a crime.
Downfalls are necessary.
As only from the ground,
You can view the sky,
At which you're aiming!
A pointed needle penetrating into the heart,
Slowly and slowly for giving that pinch of doses of aches.
Sometimes, pain gives such a relief,
Giving a feeling like a masochist.
It feels like,
A habit of drinking all of it in a gulp, deep down.
Eyes don't smudge into tears anymore,
While lips learn an art of faking a smile.
Fews things just leave,
Dropping a few splashes of stains in our heart.
Without committing any sin,
Punishing with their heartless words.
In this sour world,
Only his smile for me
Tastes like a whipped cream as a topping with sweetness!
Voo alfazon se kuch nahi bola,
Lekin ankhon se bohot kuch keh gaya.
Sukhe patton ki tarah murjhaye chehre se,
Kuch ankaha keh gaya.
Dard tha unn ansoon se chamti aankhon mei,
Joo iss dil ko apna dard baintt gaya.
Aya tha voo mere pass kuch khass umeed se,
Lekin tut ti umeedon mei bhi pyaari si muskaan de gaya.
Jaate jaate bola,
"Didi, bhagwaan aapke saare sapne pure kare!"
Aur khelte khelte, koi dhun gaate gaate chal pada.
Fatte kapdo mei lipat kar,
Uss bhari thandi mei sursurata hua, kisi aur se umeed lagane nikal gaya.
Jebh khaali thi meri,
Varna usse kabka rok chuki hoti.
Zara theraa kar uss se,
Khaali hath hone ke bavajud b...
Love demands surrending yourself completely for the time being,
Either for your dreams, passion, profession or relations.
I left those four walls,
Leaving behind those three elements.
Who were my shadow in every pain.
Who were my happiness and my motivation bank.
Abb berukhi se tumhari,
Humme shikayatein nahi hoti.
Anjaano ki tarah andhekhaa kar dete t hai tumhe ye sochke,
Ki kabhi naa kabhi ehsaas tumhebhi hoga.
My dreams are like those feathers,
Sometimes blowing away by the winds where it takes them.
Sometimes lying still on the ground,
In entire silence.
Yet destined to fly above in skies,
While moving ahead with patience.
DAY I MET HIM
We were returning from the cafe,
Walking towards the road.
It was late december night.
I was wearing a wollen top and a jacket,
Shivering in cold.
Rubbing my palms,
Exhaling warm air onto my skin.
And he was fully packed,
Covering his head with his hoody's cap,
A sweat shirt over which he wore two
more wollen sweaters.
A muffer to save himself from the getting freezed.
His hands inside the pocket of his jeans.
Still, I could hear his teethering teeths.
In that silence.
The only noise we could hear were of those vehicles and horns.
Not much people could be seen around.
Out of the few leftovers,
Most of them were tho...