|Psychologist | Zentangle Artist | Spoken Poet | Writer | Solo Traveller | Avid Reader | Foodie | Owner of www.mindfulmesmerisms.com|
I would never have anticipated the level of comfort we shared when we met for the very first time. I always thought it'd be awkward and summon even before we know it. I can't begin to express my joy and admiration since we kissed in your car during the long hours of tedious driving through rivers and lakes and mountains and just pure memories. The world is a funny place and so are its people, but you, you were surprisingly beyond anything I could have ever think of.
I've always thought of being practical and real about everything even in the most romantic of moments, but I can't think of how you got the better of me. I remember when you said, "No one's ever driven me aro...
I know you care, but, NO, I don’t need a fucking protector. I didn’t need you to worry about me. I needed a friend, to be held, and for you to be real, just plain real and simple with me. But you threatened me with empty promises and burned it all with three words of denial. Now, go back to the whore and find another hole to fuck while I cry about the guy I metaphorically killed.
It’s funny how feelings work, right? When you are emotionally vulnerable and you just want to co-exist with the person you surprisingly connect with, the same person uses you as a commodity to get over their lover of many years. What’s funnier is the fact that they always tend to play the victim...
It’s 2019 already. This is the first Christmas and New Year without you and it’s been exceptionally hard. I remember last Christmas in church, we professed our long term plans for and with each other. “Let’s grow old together”, you said, do you remember? There are times when I still cannot come to terms with reality but there are also times when I am absolutely engrossed with my career that I sometimes forget you were dilapidated.
I can’t tell you how much you are terribly missed and you will always be the biggest part of my life. I don’t know how much of a toll it’s taken on me but I promise you that you will always be remembered because you are invariably cherished. This New...
Dear Brian Quadras,
Do you remember the first time we met, you forced yourself to drink that strawberry latte because you didn’t want to seem rude on our first date. The day we fell in love was incomparably far-flung from normal. I remember the days we’d spend laughing, bashful, sobbing, cheering each other and mostly antagonising each other. These years have elapsed so briskly that our lives were brimming with unfinished business.
I remember the nights you violated my senses and you sat there cold-heartedly like you were right about shattering my fragmented bag of bones. Do you remember the days I spent weeping insanely outside your very house? Do you remember the number of times I never...
Dear future husband,
As we begin this journey of togetherness in our respective forevers, I want to differ from apologizing because I'm not giving up on my life to enter yours. I am not your home maker because it is out job to make our home together. I am not the sole bearer of your child, you are a full time parent as well. I am not erasing my surname to put yours on my name, in that case, you'd have to change yours too. I'm not going to convert from my religion to yours alone, might as well, have both of us convert into each other's religion if that's the only 'conversion' you want.
For the family that we will be forming, do not expect me to know how to cook, be an unappreciated interior ...
For the many months we've been together, it has been all the more difficult to get through to you. Even though I tried thinking I could understand who you really are, you would build more walls and made sure I always stay on the outside. I gave you several reasons to believe that my love is true and my trust is unbreakable but you continued to be delusional about how we may not be happy or together in the future.
You gave me no surety or reason to believe you're the one but I still hoped that we will find our perfect moment someday and make us work. You left me no choice but to 'go with the flow' because I felt that was the only reason that things could work out, but you kept g...
Dear Brian Quadras,
It's been give months already and the reason why I write to you is maybe because I felt the need to confess something that's been pricking my mind. Remember the day I asked you what you'd do if you found out I am homosexual? Well, maybe that is what I've been thinking about confessing. Don't worry, I'm not homosexual though because if I were, I wouldn't be with you. I'm just trying to say that I can't love you anymore because I might have found love in someone else. It's not who you think it is, but it's someone that's very special and close to my heart.
The reason I write this to you is because I feel you deserve to know what has been happening and have a right to und...
I write to you only because of the misunderstandings that cannot be sorted while we are at an impeccable distance. As much as we know how much we like each other and are most comfortable with each other, what do you think we are doing? Do you think we are dating? Do you think we are just casually going out and laughing our sorrows out?
I write to you because of your immense ability to misunderstand, misinterpret and misconstrue everything I say or even intend to convey. Calm down, I'd say, I never wanted to love you because of your mental condition of Mental Retardation and Auditory Hallucinations. I wanted to love you for the boy you are, the little mischievous devil who dis...
The moment I decided to kill my baby, I then realized the thoughts you were going through when everyone wanted to kill me. Remember the time when you told me that no one in your in law's and no one in your family wanted me, but you still took the risk of keeping me alive?
On 11th October, 2016, I killed my baby, ma. Not because I don't want a child, but because I need to make something out of my career before I take this step. Don't worry, the father was just a one night stand. Some random supposed friend of mine who I got drunk with, while I was crying over Oliver, a few weeks back. As stupid as it already sounds, we don't even know when we had sex in the night and woke up with a...
I saw it. She was there. I saw her being invited home with a hug. I followed her in. She was in the bedroom with him. I thought my neighbours were lying until I saw it with my own eyes. Now it's all clear to me, why he hardly talks, why our marriage is almost breaking apart, why he never get intimate, I understand now.
She's 12, I suppose. She comes every day when I'm off to work, a neighbour said. They get sexually intimate everyday on my bed, the same bed he refuses to get intimate with me. My husband, a paedophile, is sexually attracted to pre-punctual little girls. This 12 year old girl comes willingly though, I can prove that today with what I saw. She seems to want the same,...
The strokes of my paintbrushes have finally made magic today. Every single day, when I think of how you must be doing in Bombay, I realized that I should have had a family where the child is supported by both their parents. Fate, on one hand and destiny on the other, art bought out the inner me.
I'm writing to you, not because I finally made it internationally as the artist I had always wished to become, but that you aren't here to see it anymore. I miss you ma. As much as I crave for your presence here, I know you never will come back. Since you passed, there's an emptiness in my soul,there's a lump in my throat and the desire to communicate with fellow gimp sapiens has long gone....
Its been six months now and I've never felt so content with myself after you left. There are A million reasons why I wanted to write to you but the most important of them all was saying 'thank you'. Although I do realize why we departed and how that affected me in the most negative and brutal way possible, but I thought God had a better plan. He wanted me to focus on myself and my mother, than on a random guy who was commitment phobic.
I would be lying if I told you I never loved you in that short period of time, because I did. I've never felt so real with you or with anyone in an intimate relationship. Sharing our nothingness together and still being comfortable in each other...
I've been mocked at, cheated on, humiliated and made fun of for something that isn't my choice. You're beautiful ma, inside out but I'm apparently only appropriately beautiful inside. My skin tone is one of the issues that is always bought up when it comes to being made fun of, regardless of whether its actually a joke or not. In dark but I'm not an ugly person. They have an anti-aging committee in college but judgements and comments are not supposed to be offensive. The academics in college gets hectic and tougher by the day and I can't wait to simply get rescued from this pile of stereotypical mess.
I'm dark and beautiful ma, that's what I have been telling myself to get over...
I know it's been long but I am only writing to you because I think you should know what happened because I didn't deserve to be here. There was blood all over the place, some dark shades and some light. I woke up on the floor drowned in blood, surprised that I'm still alive. But where did it all come from? No wounds, no cuts, no bruises, but just a mere bloodbath.
Who's blood is this? I wondered as I woke up, drowsy, nauseous and almost dead. It was his. The man who raped me last night and every night until I finally spoke. I spoke so loud, not with my mouth but with the knife I was cutting the chicken breasts with last evening.
There were no bruises on my body but my soul was wo...
There were times when you told me to die and moments where I felt airport was behind your divorce. There were instances where I felt like I was a mistake and there have been years that I've spent crying to myself in the bathroom, and conversing with a smile like I'm stone cold to your harsh comments
Nevertheless, I love you more than any daughter, more than any son and more than family. When I realized you're only hope to live is me, I was stagnated with guilt, regret and extremely ashamed of myself to have thought of you as a selfish woman when you're not.
As I ponder upon the days and minutes of the times we spent fighting, laughing, crying, discussing curiously, I assimilate ...