|In love with the one and only city of Lisbon, I am a 23 year old law student (well, sort of...). Son.|
Dear 4 year old D'
Can I play with you and your cars?
Why aren’t you outside?
June 28, 1998 hun? Now I see..
This was a rough one..
Well, I know you won’t recognize me, not untill you’re older, but I want to tell you something.
It’s going to be ok.
I know that you struggle ‘cause you don’t understand anything that’s going on and nobody really tells you much, but you’ll end up figuring it out.
You think I don’t know what your talking about?
Well, I know you use these cars has a distraction.
I know why you keep the door shut. Not just because you don’t hear the screaming so vivedly, but it works like a shield for you.
I know your angry at big brother ‘caus...
How are you guys?
I've been kinda absent for a while now.
I know.. I know...
Not like somebody missed me or anuthing but I just wanted to leave some kind of a thank you note.
I was astonished... with you guys!
I came Back last week and what do I find?
People writing to me...
People adding me as a PenPal...
I'm so very thankfull for your apreciattion!
Well, I finished my curse and I've started working for almost 2 months now.
It's been great guys.
I'll be writing more stuff now, you guys gave me motivation.
Thank you to you all!
- School's fest where here and I'm nowhere to be found.
Everytime I look at my phone's screen to see what time it is, I got a new call from one of my friends or a text asking where I'm at.
I couldn't go. Not like this.
I've fell victim to my biggest problem again... Guilt.
I put my hands on that girl.
Sure, it's not like she didn't perform every vile torture that she could, but it's still not a reason for me to do what I did.
It had happened a few more times before she entered my life.
Either I punched my way threw furniture or... threw someone.
I couldn't explain the feeling. I literally would lose all control. I had no hand in my actions. I know it s...
Punishment- Part 6
"This was inevitable. I drew this path years ago. My mistakes came back in her form"
Summer's coming up. School's about to finish, for good! I had no intentions of going to college. I realized that in an early age.
Our school's fest was that weekend and we'd see preparations all over. Each class was organizing something different. Amateur concerts, activities... it was a fun week.
As you'd expect, I wasn't in any activity. I never applied myself to the fullest when it came to school, even due I knew I could have good grades.
I got on the bus.
I was sitting next to a good friend of mine. We knew each other since 1st grade. With all that was going on I realized, I wa...
Punishment- Part 5
"Dear Sexual, meet Violence."
- It's been two weeks...
I still got the burns on my lower back...
After that afternoon I met her everyday and everyday was something different. The slings were only the beginning. After that, I entered an internship on how to be a submissive. Sometimes I wasn't allowed to talk. Other times I was cuffed for the longest times before she would start... teasing me. I abdicated my own rights of freedom when I entered in the same room as her. But it never bothered me. That was the more curious part of all of this. I was inslaved. I was abused. I didn't feel my own self.
When I'd get to school it would be all normal. I was the same kid I was bef...
Punishment- Part 4
"After all the pain, genuine tolerable pain, I felt... free(...)"
What the hell did I just signed up for..?
The owl way home I kept thinking about this. Thought it threw lunch, 'till dinner, all the way 'till bed...
Gosh.. I don't even know if I want to see what she has to say.
"I know you must be a little uncomfortable with all this, but... I really want to be with you again... and, at the same time, show you this side of me."
I didn't answer...
Middle of the night. No sleep. I started checking out some things.
Some things are really appealing, like the feathers or the famous handcuffs.
But that's only the soft stuff...
I just.. I had to say something to ...
Punishment- Part 3
'I said yes...'
"We need to talk (...)"
When it comes to women that's usually a bad sign.
I texted her back asking what she wanted to talk about. She said she'd prefer we talked in school the day after. I didn't argue.
Next day, I was in school talking to a good friend, fresh out of good old Chemistry. Honestly, I was just waiting for a tap in the back from her, surprising me outta no where. No tap, just a call.
She called to ask where I was and to meet her in the school's garden and so I did.
I get there and... ventricle-auricle all over again.
She kisses me on the side of the cheek (unfortunately). First couple of minutes were all about the everyday type of talk. A...
Punishment- Part 2
'It wasn't love. It was a carnal desire.'
'What just happened?'
My heart had a ventricle-auricle block... fast beat followed by no beat.
I genuinely felt shivers.
What was she doing to me?
After the whisper she gave me a light kiss and just kept smiling, while looking straight at my eyes. You know that cliche 'it felt like she could see right threw me'? Bunch of bull shit. But man, was it intimidating.
I had to ask what she was thinking.
She told me: "I just wanted to prove I can mess up your head, if I wish so"
She was doing that, perfectly.
I couldn't think of any words, let alone a phrase to say.
We walked the rest of the way with me, more speechless then a Moza...
Punishment- Part 1
'After all we went threw, I realized: I never knew you'
One of the rights that assists a human being, is the right of freedom. Freedom to speak, freedom of expression, freedom of movement...
All of this is instantly obtained since the day you are born.
That was the fun in it.
To deliver all of those rights to one person. To let that person tell you when to move, when to talk. When to breathe...
It was mid high school. I had a friend in common with her so I had the chance to be 3 feet from her a couple a times. Never traded words due.
At first she was just another pretty face. Another beautiful woman that every guy gazed. She was never attractive to me. Not in 'that way...
What does it mean to be a hero?
Does it only mean one who saves lives? The protecters? The defenders? Or is there more to it?
I remember writing about this in 8th or 9th grade during a test in school. I can't remember the exact words my 14 year old self used to describe this matter, but I think I still got the idea carved in my head.
Hero: someone who endures...
To me the person that's saved is just a hero as the person who did all the saving.
Sure, the applauds from the citizens, as well by the press go to the savior, but... the victim is kept with trauma, anxiety, loss...
A victim as to proceed with their lives as if that moment, that tragic moment, never occurred.
What does it take to make the human mind think 'I am going to kill'?
In which point do the gazillion sinopses, that the brain makes, short circuit and take a man to the point of rage or despair where he decides 'I am going to take a life'?
I can't understand it...
A friend of mine once asked me if I would kill for someone I love. I didn't answer...
He then continued with a bunch of other questions, all in the same subject, until he finally asked me something I instantly answered:
- Is it too hard to cross that line?
And I said: -No... it's the exact opposite... it's really easy.
The twist to the easiness of making such decision is that suddenly it turns hard. Hard to come back ...
I started facing this subject early on in my childhood and got instantly hooked.
What is the concept of justice? What is it's true meaning? I'd asked myself that often.
It's true I saw a lot of shit growing up so it's obvious the balance between good in evil always intrigued me.
About a month ago I did a work project on this matter, on the origin, meaning and aplication of the word 'justitia'.
That's when I meat Têmis...
Têmis is the goddess of justice and also, it's symbol. You'll find 'her' in any part of a courthouse or a law school.
This god like creature takes the form of a woman, blindfolded holding a sword and a balance in each hand.
The blindfold tells us she doesn't look...
Well let's start from the beginning. No, not my beginning, that one's kinda.. you know, not for the weak hearted.
I'm 23 and I live in Lisbon. I really love my city, but most of all the town I grew up in. It doesn't have any cool bars or fancy restaurants, or beautiful landscape that any other person would take their phones right off their pockets just to 'Snapchat' or 'Instagram' it. And yeah, I said 'any other person' and why? Well, I don't know if it's the hardness of the streets or the every day increasing cop cars patrolling around it, but... I love it all.
What can I tell you more...
Well, I'm completely obsessed in an objective that's really really close of getting done. Dreamt for ye...