I am guilty today. Really guilty. And a little ashamed!
(And so you should be S J).
I have some wonderful PenPals that I am happy and certain to call friends. They write me, we comment and laugh, support and comfort, write silly poems (sometimes sillier than your usual S J?) send pictures and generally get on as friends would.
I love it. Dearly. It has literally been the key thing to help me change my life for the better over the last 3 months.
So why, S J, I hear you ask, are you guilty and ashamed?
Well, many of my friends now are from amazing places all over the world and for many of them, English is not their mother tongue. Don't get me wrong, there is no problem. Their...
I sit and wait
It is all I do.
I just sit.
I just wait.
When you fear and you are upset, I am there to give you comfort.
But be wary, should you accept it, I will take everything from you in return.
When you are full of pain and there is nothing left, I will be the light at the end of your tunnel.
But be sure though, this is a one way street.
When you are at your happiest, I can cast a shadow to blot out the sun.
No torch will help you see past me.
I am always here. Always beside you.
But you cannot see me, and you would not want to.
You cannot touch me, and you would not seek to.
You shall not love me, because you will never know me.
It is I that will decide when we meet.
You will hav...
Dear Writer, my love,
So now it has ended.
You have cast me asunder, after being led astray by that demon, that harpy, that temptress!
Here I now lie, my blue mood matching my complexion, that new top I got for you, now nothing more than a filthy reminder of how cheaply you have cast me aside.
I got it for you! They won't take it back, it cannot simply be returned to a store! It is mine forever now, a bitter taste you have forced me to endure for the rest of my life!
I'd draw a line under us, but can't lift myself to do it without you.
I'd scratch your name from my body, but it has been too deeply engraved there.
I'd try to get a grip, but no one held me quite like you did.
I am dried ...
When you next sit beside a stranger on the train or the bus, you dare to ask them how their day was going?
When you hear your favourite song in a busy shop or playing in a crowded elevator, you just sang at the top of your voice?
You just smiled because, well, why not?
You are sitting on a train or a bus and a stranger asks you politely how your day is going and you don't see them as crazy, but tell them, and then ask them about theirs?
You are in a busy shop or crowded elevator and someone starts singing to the song that is playing at the top of their voice, so you decide to join in too?
You see someon...
It occurred to me that I don't remember the moment that I stopped believing in Magic.
I remember so many landmark moments in my life. Things like my first day at school, meeting my first best friend, my first day in secondary school, my first kiss, my first love, etc... but I have no recollection of the day that I realised that Magic wasn't real.
Is this day more insignificant in comparison? Is that why it has not been filed in my mind under "do not delete"? Or perhaps it wasn't a single moment, maybe this realisation happened over a period of time?
But sometimes I find myself looking back longingly at those times. Before it became a necessity to "grow up" and become an "adul...
The definition of Love?
Does it matter?
Just ENJOY it.
Love and stuff,
There is a story that I read every day and night. It comforts me when I close my eyes to sleep and it draws them open for me when I rise in the morning.
It is a wonderful piece of work, full of dramas and mysteries that have me perplexed. Even when I think I get it, just as I cry out "haha, there it is!" this story will twist away, the plot will turn and again, I will be left trying to keep up with its brilliant complexities.
The story will build me up and up and up with joy and wonder, casting a cloak over my eyes with beautiful scenes and comforts, before every page that came before is torn to shreds and pulled in a new and unpredictable direction by some tremendous event.
I love your lettrs, and that you have inspired me to work more on my writing. I love writing, especially poetry, but as you know teens are cruel and when you're 15 you just want to fit in. But you write what you want and people love it, it inspires people and I like that . So I decided that for my late new years resolution I will try to write as much as I can this year. Thank you for writing. I hope you continue to post on here.
It's THAT moment.
It's the moment when it is just you.
It's the moment that rests on your shoulders.
In that moment, you close your eyes for just a second longer with that particular blink.
You take a breath far deeper than any other you have ever taken.
Your mind slows and your heartbeat thumps a ponderous beat.
It's that moment NOW.
As you open your eyes again, you exhale quietly.
Feel the air leave your lungs.
You tighten your fists.
You blink slowly again as you focus on your thumping heart.
The tension rises in your chest but you contain it.
The swimming in your gut is there, but you control it.
Your thoughts would crash around on rocky shores, but you stem the tide.
Just THAT moment on ...
You didn't ask to be born into this world.
No one got your permission to hand you your lot.
You were dropped here after a random throw of the dice.
You were born to this world as equally unequal as the rest of us, with challenges and obstacles just like everyone else, yet completely unique to you.
And, after all of this time, no one asks if this is the life you want.
You don't get to choose another.
You can't venture to your local store or order online or trade with a friend.
As you scramble through the maze and climb one more peak, as you wade through misery and hardship, as you leap faithfully, but fearfully into the darkness, you know that this life might not be the on...
How do we know that the world is round?
That a ball in the air will fall back to ground?
How do we know that we are safe in the dark?
That love and loss won't leave a mark?
How can we tell if she likes me most?
How will I know the sea stays at the coast?
When will I be sure that the stars will shine?
That the kiss of honey will taste so fine?
How can I be sure that when life is done,
My heart will be happy with everything I've known,
The pleasures I've had, the battles I've won,
The journeys I've made, and the way that I've grown?
The answer to this is simple to give,
Just live my friend, go out and LIVE.
What happens when our mind takes over and our writing truly reflects|stcelfer what we do?
What happens when we allow the words to roam
👣 and we give them the chance to just find there own place?
What happens when we let ourselves
and let our personalities and inspirations just do the thinking for us?
To my wonderful friend AM,
Happy Birthday. I truly hope that you have a wonderful day :)
Here is a huge hug for you from England!
I look forward to speaking to you soon, but have a super fantastic Birthday Little Samurai!! :D
Loads of love,
P.S. Below is your cake as promised.
Dear Lettrs and Lettrists (is this the right term?),
I joined Lettrs in October, not knowing quite what I was getting myself into. Now, as we wind down to the end of 2014, I feel as though I have been here forever.
I have loved my time here so far (and it really will be "so far", there is much yet to come) and I have enjoyed reading the works that you have placed here.
That you have SHARED here.
I really think of writing as such an intimate thing, it is an expression of our feelings and personalities, even when sometimes we do not want it to be.
So I have enjoyed sharing your experiences, feeling some of your emotions and knowing some of your wisdom.
I have enjoyed, through Lettrs, liv...
My friend asked me the strangest thing,
He asked me straight and narrow,
"Would you prefer a nice big bin?"
"Or will you use a wheel barrow?"
So I looked him up and down,
My mind seriously vexed?
Whatever does he mean today?
Is this some form of test?
"To what my friend do I owe this question?"
"What is on your mind?"
"Is there reason in this to mention?"
"You have me in such a bind!"
So my friend did sigh a heavy breath,
He shook his head and muttered,
"I ask this out of a curious heart,"
"My reasons should not need to be uttered."
But since I asked, he did tell,
"The reason for my question is this,"
"When I found out that you had thrown away your love,"
"And discarded such a wonder...
It takes one argument to end it all.
It takes one misunderstanding to put it all to the grave.
It takes one moment of anger to ruin it.
It takes one disagreement to cast a shadow across it.
It takes one thoughtless decision to pull everything down.
It takes one crazy mistake to lose it.
But then, it so often just takes one smile to repair it as well.
It must be worth a try.
Dear Santa, this year I was nice,
I did not kick that hedgehog twice,
I did not laugh when the old woman fell,
I hardly smiled when she began to yell.
Dear Santa I know I was good,
My friend forgave me when I threw him in the mud,
My mother knows well that I did not mean,
To drop that food on the floor she'd cleaned.
Dear Santa, I worked really hard,
Not to be too abusive in my brothers card,
I did not steal that many things,
Only a hand full of diamond rings.
Dear Santa, I helped the poor,
I had nothing much, now I have more,
I went out my way to help the needy,
That really can't make me all that greedy.
Dear Santa, I want you to know,
I don't like Christmas, even less snow,
I can't stan...
So as the dark of night did take,
And the final ebb of light did fade,
The old man, a smile he did make,
For he knew his bed was made.
"Ah and now I shall rest," he says,
His head back on soft linen,
"I have had quite my lot of these days,
This end will be quite fitting."
And then he began to wonder on all the things that he had seen,
He considered the people that had crossed his path,
The wonderful places that he had been.
He considered the cathedral at the centre of York,
He remembered the moors of the dales,
And the roads and miles that he did walk,
Through cold, through rain, through hails.
The old man remembered the Highlands,
The mountains so tall in the North,
He thought of times f...
I am here especially when you least want,
I will invite myself in for the nightly haunt,
I come in through stone or solid glass,
Tapping the pane with my woody grasp,
I am the thing that hides beneath your bed,
The darkness residing at the back of your head,
I dwell in the depth of your cupboard at night,
I am the voice that would see you take flight,
I will defile each of your most earthly desires,
I will turn you on those that might seek to conspire,
But when you come to danger and harm,
I am also she that will raise the alarm.
You need me, even if you can't understand me.
Oops, I just realised I have not posted any public letters in December yet!
But what do I write about?
Do I tell you about my recent travels by car and plane to London, Guildford, Bournemouth, West Yorkshire and Oldham?
My utter fear of flying (seriously, entire flight, me in my seat, seat belt on, snarling at anyone that tried to talk to me. I nearly dived into the safety position for landing!).
Do I tell you about the wonderful conversations I have had with my friends here on Lettrs? Sorry, that should read "FRIENDS" here on Lettrs. They are too special to me for lower case.
My efforts to write a novel?
My exploits with the "Geordies of the North"?
I could tell you of s...
I am sorry.
I am sorry that when I got THAT call, when my world fell apart, when everything changed, that I did not call.
I am sorry that I got in my car and drove alone to the hospital. I am sorry I did not call you first.
I am sorry that when I arrived and they confirmed what I feared most to be true, when I wanted the world to swallow me up, when I wanted to wake from my nightmare, I did not call you.
I am sorry that I returned home, cried alone in the dark. Smashed my fists until they bled. I am sorry that still I did not call you.
I am sorry that I hid away from the world. I am sorry that I shut you out. I am sorry that I lost my job, that I started to drink heavily, that I stop...
You are the thing that haunts,
You are the one that taunts,
You freeze body and mind,
You are the unbreakable bind.
You are the poison memory,
You are the cold of my heart,
You turn friend to enemy,
You will drive us apart.
The one that won't sleep,
You are they that cuts deep,
You scar body and mind,
You are never left far behind.
You want more,
You take more,
You need more,
You take more.
Me, overcoming all of you.