45 days and still counting...have not stepped out of my home..even for once..something which I haven't done in my lifetime..but have to do it now..because there are people who are dependent on us..and are vunerable..If a mother cant take care of a child..cant be near him..who else will?
I cant fathom what it will be like to live in isolation..and the child will feel like he's being punished that his mom has just vanished..and not around when he needs her the most..
It makes me think..of those covid19 affected mothers who are staying in isolation..far away from children and family..the pain would be unbearable..not because of the virus in the body..but the missing sight of our own family..
when you feel lost..
on your breathing..
the positives...take it in
the negatives..take it out
You think you have got it right..
The people in your life,
The moments, twists and turns in your journey,
Everything is destined to happen and
happens for a reason..
But..just think about it..
It happens because you seek..you start manifesting those things in some way or the other,everyday of your life..
and then when it comes bang in front of you..
you get surprised.. overwhelmed..excited..
how can this ever happen..looks so unreal..unbelievable..
The universe gets it right for you..the vibes you create within..and send it across..works on it..for you..and just you..
so be ready for it..you will get what you want..and need not ask anyone for it..it will come to you..when you least expect it...
I have finally made a decision..
that I will write it out..
no matter how tough it gets..
how difficult it is to express..
I will not keep it within..
but let it flow..
for it will make me feel lighter..
help me loosen the knots that were knit inside..
everything will make sense.
everything will fall in place.
you will get answers of all your questions.
I have been waiting
for that "one day"
My biggest fear..
that I might get unwell and not be able to carry on...with my responsibilities as a mother of a child..
A child who is dependent on me..
A child who needs me 24*7
to talk to him
to feed him
to love him
to be with him
No he wont ask..neither will throw tantrums..
He will just go silent..if I am not around..not because he is attached to me..but I AM HIS WORLD..he lives in it..
my fear is not my death..but his silence..that he might get lost if am not around..
When I get excited..Hold me tight..
When I feel low..Hold me tight..
When I get lost..Hold me tight..
When I break down..Hold me tight..
When I am happy..hold me tight..
When I don't make sense..
hold me tight
Because..it is the only thing which makes everything feel alright..
makes the heaviest cloud.. so light..
makes the darkest day..so bright
Overwhelming...is when too many things happen to you at once..the good..the bad..the unpredictable..
your focus..your plans..evrything is disrupted..
thoughts and actions go for a toss..
you are left clueless..confused..
and this is how negativity starts creeping in..insecurity starts sinking in..
"remain calm" is easier said than done..isn't it..
Don't be..its okay..absolutely fine..
But remember..your actions..reactions..evrything will have repercussions..on a much wider scale..
Think..and act..take your time..let it settle down..
It will only get better only if you choose to learn a lesson from these overwhelming emotions..
There is something in you,
I know it's true..
I have tried my level best,
And put my emotions to test..
I let my heart and mind wander,
And I end up committing a blunder..
Only to come back to you,
I wish you knew..
But..all you did was..bid me adieu.
I love to talk,
You like to listen..
I love to cook,
You like to relish..
I love to write,
You like to read..
I love to dance,
You like to sing..
I love to explore out in open,
You like to seek peace indoors..
I love to stay awake throughout night..
You like to have a sound sleep before midnight..
I love your silence,
You like my chatter..
I love your presence,
you like my company..
I want to go to sleep..
not getting disurbed by any noise.
just me and my dreamland..
where everything looks great in and out ..
where I need not worry abt my past..present nor future..
someone there would take care of everything..
whereas I would be happy with my own thing..
carefree moments all the time..
and not waking up,. untill am done..
where in the world will I ever get to sleep..a peaceful sleep..deep sleep..
We all dream to live
in a beautiful, magnificent CASTLE...with our loved ones..
the chitter.. chatter..
the giggles and laughter..
still staying together..
the weather will never matter..
for they will fan you with cool breeze while you are sweating..
blow dry air while you are drenching
wrap a thick blanket when you are FREEZING..
The bond so SPECIAL and strong..is meant to stay for long..
Family is the only place where we all belong..
"Smile", is all they say..
"Do your best come what may.."
Preaching is easy,
If you ignore, they call you crazy..
They dont understand,
You dont have a magic wand..
We know what it takes,
and when to apply brakes..
The struggle, the everyday battle
is no excuse but its real..
the wound we conceal behind the veil..
we let go and wait for it to heal..
but we pretend and how..
like there was never a yesterday but only "Now"
Deep inside, the pain you try to hide..
you know, is never going to subside..
So cut the drama..dont keep anything within..
Talk..express..act..and dont let it sink in..
Remember to never fake a smile...
you will end up being a clown after a while..
Today you shake hands with them..
tomorrow you find,they are no less than a gem.
You hold on to the friendship..
create a bond and strong relationship..
Everything appears hunky and dory..
gradually falls apart and turns into tragic story..
You find yourself..in a deep pit..
they walk out and you are terribly hit..
You learn a lesson, in your own way..
you work hard and get busy making hay..
They make fool of you and continue to stray..
The tactics, the manipulation and the games they play..
The world will witness, observe..
one will get what they deserve..
You overcome every obstacle with all your might..you move on..
Wait for the sunrise not the sunset, that's long gone.
That one song..which you listen in a loop..and you get goosebumps everytime..those mixed feelings all at once..A short poem about the experience..
The music is so overwhelming..
Just the way my life is spinning..
Glad to have beautiful humans around me..
Still long for that one something, whatever its meant to be..
makes me think..in so many directions..
those hidden dreams, without any actions..
makes me dance..on my toes..
just the way I flirt with my sorrows...
makes me sing..like those chirpy birds..
expressing emotions, with fewer words..
takes me to a parallel universe..
where we sit silently and still converse..
The evil in me..fell in love with the
angel in you.
My clumsiness .. smitten by your elegance..
My mediocrity .. stricken by your
The havoc I create..
with the harmony you bring..
The bitterness in me..
with the sweetness you spread..
The darkness I cast..
with the light you Emit..
The ugly me..with the beautiful you..
All along..throughout our lifetime..
we try to make people happy..
we try to justify and validate our actions, just to fit into their frame..
Little do we realise, it erodes our individuality bit by bit everytime we try to adjust ourselves in their scheme..
our thoughts..our dreams..our plans..
have to e in sync with the clan..
And one fine day...when we sit alone..diving in deep ocean of our secret self..we realise..we cant be a part of the flow..rather drift away gradually to find ourselves again from the scratch..to start a new life..this time..for ourselves..for our happiness..where we do not seek any validations..
genuine people will stay..
rest will go their way..
The fluttering waves..so inviting
The roaring sound..so overwhelming
The shiny sand..so soothing
The setting sun..so fascinating
The children's scream..so astounding
The tall palm trees..gracefully swaying
The beach view..
The road looks bumpy,
the traveller getting restless and grumpy..
The big, the bright, the golden sun,
tossing the messy hair in a neat bun..
The lush green trees around,
those little children playing on ground..
The leaves, the flowers.. dancing and swirling in the wind,
the dark clouds shyly grinned..
The silent, the tranquil sparkling lake,
the flock of flamingos taking a break..
The hills, the valleys..the mountains and the grass,
the shepherd feeding his flocks as the travellers pass..
The beautiful journey..is truly a treasure,
the mystical experience is beyond any measure..
There comes a point in your life..
where you feel grateful..
The people around you,
their company, so playful..
the blessings from all,
makes you, so peaceful..
the difficult times you go through,
the learnings, so meaningful..
the happy times you enjoy,
the moments, so cheerful..
the path you choose to travel,
makes this journey, so beautiful..
For all the little things, you experience..
make sure you appreciate and be thankful..
Mingle with people, have your say,
Ignore the naysayers..keep them at bay.
Make memories..let them stay..
in your dreams..let them play..
Double your happiness day by day..
let the lonesomeness run away..
Worry about nothing, and just pray,
to make you strong, courageous and content everyday..
I promise you..
HE will bless and never betray..
The place where we all would want to go..
Our desires..our dreams..our souls glow..
Everything entwined together to show..
the beauty in chasing those who allow us to grow..
those eyes without a tear
that voice without any fear
the lips that never close
the heart that is always open
the dream to reach the sky
the wings that only flies high
the soul immersed in exploring endless possibilities
the universe in motion will make it happen with all its abilities..
We want it.. still we shy away..
We see it..still pretend to be blind everyday..
We feel it..still we act as indifferent all the way..
We love every bit of it..still we run away and have nothing to say..
The wait is worth when its for you..
The date is worth remembering when I am with you..
This phase..these moments and beautiful you..
sounds so unreal but I know its true..
Lets keep a promise everyday..
Never fail to make me fall for you
and I will too..
Mental health...take care of your mind..and that will take care of your body too..
Am a mom of a special needs son..special is still an ordinary word for him..super hero..sounds bit better..
NICU stay for the first 18 days
hernia surgery at 1.5 months..
heart surgery at 4.11 yrs..
diagnosed with cerebral palsy..
wait..the bigger one..
Intractable epilepsy diagnosed at 5 years of age!!!
And I was just 25 when I gave birth to my baby..and its still sinking in..
day by day..week after week..month after month..year after year..it just goes on and on..
people pity on me..sympathise...I wish they knew what it does to me..I wouldnt want anyone to do it..it makes me feel so ...
lying on the shiny sand..
with eyes closed..
and ears open..
the sound of the waves calms me down..
the drops of water sprinkling on my face..
it reminds me always..
that life is nothing..
but listening to yourself..
when you are still awake..
"The sea was wild and the boat was rocking back and forth. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't sure he was going to make it. For just a few seconds he closed his eyes and thought of what made him happy, more than anything else in the world....."
And there she was..smiling at him..a smile that he would die for.. " Come..join me..it time we get one..I have been waiting for eternity..to welcome you..with all the love I have for you..lets unite...and be together forever..Come.." He thanked his destiny..smiled back at her..and never opened his eyes..for he knew..where he is going to go..and thats what he always wished for..
together..forever..and finally for each other..
is the pain deep enough to kill you?
is it mild enough that you let it go?
is it the thoughts in your head that is piercing you?
is it the memories of the past that is haunting you?