|i would love to have time to sit and write a book but in the meanyime this will do.|
I go home to an empty bed and lay where your body laid days before. The warmth is physically gone but still so fresh in my mind. The way your heart beats with my head on your chest, bare and raw we share an intimate love. A connection so deep it stretches beyond words, into the depths of my being, the depths of my soul. You are where I belong and wherever I may travel, you will always be home. The images of you replay in my head, slowly slipping inside of me making me yours even more. I long for you in a way that is incomparable to anything in this world, it is accompanied by feelings I cannot control. What I would give to feel you today, my yearning grows stronger the longer you are away. To...
I think about you constantly and you are so far away too often. I know you doubt how I feel for you but I don’t know how else to show it. I need you to trust me and know I’m for real. Even though we fell quickly I still want the romance that comes with getting to know you. We must bare with each other as we learn a new normal of what is suppose to be.
I met you unexpectedly and I know that seems like a cliche, but I gave you a chance even though I didn’t like what you had to say. I am very glad I did because You opened me up in more than one way. My senses heightened and my mind running wild. You woke up something that laid dormant in me for some time. Feelings I had never felt so quickly or strongly before, the type that are strong enough to shake my core. Little time passed and you continued to amaze me and everything I was taught to question before fell to the side as you accepted my thoughts as the norm. Once you held me and our bodies touched, I knew it was over, my heart had found love. I am finally able to express my feelings in a w...
We had adopted a baby but it wasn’t final and we were visiting my brother. They kept the kid for us one night, we were in that old grey house that was two story and I kept hearing someone in the house. Chris got dressed in army attire and grabbed a bad ass gun as I grabbed the 380. He went downstairs and didn’t come back. Intruders started coming through the bedroom door and I shot them as they came through. The last couple were girls, it was my past catching up to me it felt like in the dream. I had to reload and I was able to shoot them too. Then two men came up before I could reload again so I shuffled under the bed. As they were getting ready to find me a third man came up, an older thin ...
Today your dad and I witness the next step in your life as Benjamin Morris takes you as his wife. Its not bitter sweet as I have heard this day described in the past, instead it is a blessing beyond words that has come at last. I'd say we gained a son, but that happened before today, if anything this family just gained another last name. Today will come and go just like the rest, but the memories made here will be some of the best. As you two travel this journey called life, newly joined as husband and wife, we will always be here cheering the two of you on. If y'all ever feel like the world is against you, just remember you have a family who's love and support will always hold you.
I couldn't wait to taste you, it was almost unbearable the way you tortured me. I wanted you to want me, and you finally did. The way your tongue caressed my lips made me so wet. You were in tune with everything I wanted, you knew how to kiss my breast with just the right amount of roughness, and yet still keep it gentle. I cannot forget the feeling of your fingers sliding deep into me making me cum. I want it again so badly even though its not good for me. I want to taste and feel you hard, I told you I would make it worth your whole and I hope I held up my end of the bargain. I still yearn for you to fill me
I never quite believed in soul mates, and in my wildest dreams of possibilities did I think it would ever be a best friend. I truly have an extra sister when it comes to my best friend. I would go to war for that woman and vice versa, she is my second rock beside my husband, and sometimes my first rock when it comes to my husband. When her heart hurts mine does as well, and when she is unhappy I just want to make her happy again. She will never have to doubt my devotion and love for I have never had to doubt hers. In situations where I thought I would be judged, she told me just what I needed to hear, sometimes what I didn't want to hear, and sometimes what I already knew, but she never judge...
I miss you. I miss your whittiness, your conversation, your touch and kiss. I just miss you and I'm not suppose to.
For the first time ever I feel, my best friend is in my shoes, she is where ive been for some time and for some reason it feels good. I tell her all of the things she once told me even though I know partially its a lie. I often wonder if my wish to be free would make me happier or if it would be a phase. Ive never been free just to be on my own, make my own decisions without considering someone else's. I feel like a horrible person to feel this way, but I have anxiety everyday and I don't know if its because my life is missing something, or if its because I find myself giving in to appease someone when I don't want to.
I write because paper doesnt have to understand or console. Paper just listens and lets you pour out your soul. There is no right or wrong involved, just raw uncut feelings and thoughts.
If someome told me 10-15 years ago that I would be 34, married with no children of my own, I would have told them they were crazy. However, here I am in that exact moment with no way to change it. I cannot begin to explain how depressing it is and how much it hurts to see everyone's life come together, to see evryone having and raising kids except me. Its partially my fault because I married a man who didn't want anymore kids, but its partially not because I tried for ten years. Sometimes I think about leaving my marriage just because my husband doesn't want kids, and honestly at this point in his life I wouldn't ask him to. He has two grown children and 11 years on me. At this point in my l...
I was in a bar for some reason pouring orange juice from a beer pitcher. I was drinking it and then suddenly felt drunk and then drugged. I had no control as I slumped to the floor. I remember seeing a dark haired man rounding the corner before i was helpless, then suddenly I was in a bed. I couldn't stay awake and I kept feeling compelled to go to the floor, like a gravitational pull. Then a man came and grabbed both hands and said something I couldn't understand. I couldn't speak but I trusted this person and i was trying to figure out who it was. I was snuggling in and then was all of a sudden with my step mom about to clean someones house. I saw yet again a dark haired man riding a kid r...
Today is Mothers Day and I am very thankful to have a mother to celebrate. I am thankful to have a family and daughters to love like my own. What keeps weighing on my mind are all those people who never had a mother, have lost a mother, or never became a mother. For those people, no matter how great their day was, there was also a struggle. A struggle to cope, and a struggle to remember or forget, or maybe a little of both. A memory of what was or a thought of what could have been stains their hearts with a little bit of sorrow that only they can understand. So be thankful for everyday and for what God has blessed you with, tomorrow is never promised, nor the next minute of today.
To not have a child,
Its not always a choice and their arent always options, sometimes it just doesn't happen. I don't think I'll ever get over the inability to care for and love a child. I got married and miscarried at 5 weeks, no biggie when you're just eighteen. Little did I know ten years would pass and I wouldn't be good enough to try it again. At 27 along game divorce, so i thought it was maybe a blessing we didn't conceive. Little did I know I'd fall for a man ten years my elder with kids halfway grown. We talked about kids and it meant so much against his better judgment he said yes. One yes led to another and before we knew it we were married and trying for a little one. It wasn't un...
What is a dress? It must be so much more than cloth, otherwise the significance of trying certain ones on would not be so great. A little girl cannot wait to reach the age where her and mom go dress shopping for homecoming and prom. The dress has to be perfect, it has to be the one we look at and try on then never want to take off. We have to find matching shoes and just the right jewelry to compliment the dress. We take hundreds of pictures and years later when the dress is stuffed in the back of our closet we look back on those pictures and remember the feeling of wearing that dress. I suppose the biggest dress of a girls life is her wedding dress. Thats the one we all look forward to weari...
One day you look at things differently and tell yourself it needs to happen. Just like that you have taken control, and your feeling are yours again to own.
The things that make us so bad for each other and so incompatible are the very things that would make us phenomenal lovers. We both like to be in control, aren't you curious, let's see how it goes.
I have the strongest desire to become a registered nurse. The process is very daunting, and anything but easy. Its down right terrifying! I am learning to hold someone's life in my hands, and I suppose it would be more frightening if I were not terrified. I am good at almost anything I put my mind to but I still doubt my ability to be as intelligent as the seasoned nurses who surround me. I know I can do it, but I want to excel not just do. I dont have to be the best but I want to be among them. I do not like to not know what I am doing, or know everything about something and yet I am entering a field that functions best in the grey area, which I am somehow OK with.
I am trying to stop wanting you very unsuccessfully. I want those lips on me again and to taste your skin. I want so much more than you are willing to give. This is for the best, I know it is, I just wish the struggle to feel you inside me wasn't so intense.
Today was just like any other, I was taking a break from school work to scroll facebook. Everyone is posting their child's end of the year accomplishments for school and how proud it makes them feel, all which you would expect to see. Then I came along a compilation of pregnancy anouncement videos, and just like any other video I clicked to watch all the cute reactions to this wonderful moment in someone's life. It went on for a minute or so before out of nowhere my feelings hit me like a ton of bricks crumbling off of the tallest tower. It hit me that the moment I was watching so many people share I would never experience myself. One of the moments I have wished for the most in life would ne...
Why do I let you get the best of me, I love the way you make me wet and yet I hate it. I hate that I cannot control the way my body reacts when I'm around you and that i get all flustered. I hate that I want you to do unspeakable things to me. I want you to put me against a wall and have your way with me. I want to feel your lips on me from the neck down un relentlessly. I cannot begin to express all the things I want you to do to me. The worst part is that I'll never be quenched.
I could not imagine losing a loved one to satisfy the worlds need for destruction. To serve our country comes with the highest of honors because what they do is done selflessly.
When do you know when to walk away. When someone says they love you and you know they do but they are constantly finding fault with everything you do or dont do. This isn't the first time I have been faced with this and the first time I left. I'm hesitant because I dont want to start over but that shouldn't be the reason I stay. I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I am at a lost Of what to do
I cannot express how much I love this app. It has given me so much freedom to write that I would have not otherwise had. The interaction with other writers is also equally amazing
I found myself in conversation about you today and what we used to be, it almost brought me to tears thinking about it. I still miss and love you in a way, but I would never go back. We were perfect together in every way. Why did you have to control and put me down instead of help build me up. We could have shaken the world together but instead we fell apart. I have not and will never let anyone in like I let you, but I will never let you back in either. I know its not healthy to keep my heart so guarded but I cannot do that to myself again.
On no, thats not the way this shit works. You think I'm the only one in the wrong, I'm not saying I'm not but thats the way you act. Like your wrongs are minor compared to mine. Who gave you the book to judge people from, your flaws go down just like mine. Forgiveness is forgiveness and a lie is a lie, they're forgiven all the same. Judge not says God but its okay, as long as its you who's choosing which commandment to break. I dont live like a saint and never claimed to, I at least know how to keep it real and have character not live like a prude.