|Hello everyone my name's Tanisha. Like most of you I have a passion for words and thoughts. I love listening to music, painting and writing.|
An Angel to Look After
Sweet child of mine, I know you wondering why God sent you to me.
I'm trying to find that out myself but only he can see.
I've prayed for years to become a mom.
I just never thought he'd send am angel for me to look after.
Right now you're inside my womb.
A personal sanctuary to keep you safe from a world that seems full of doom.
So many things run through my head.
One being why he sent an angel for me to look after?
My life was far from great but I promise to do my best too keep you safe.
So I ask God why'd you send me an angel to look after?
My childhood was not the best but I promise to do my best to make sure you have on...
A Constant Thought
I can't explain the sensation when a thought of you creeps into my head.
A simple kiss here and a soft touch there.
All those things I dreamed about you made them all so real.
Never thought that your smile would effect me so much but boy did you surprise me.
You caught me off guard when you walked into my life.
A memory forever embedded in my subconscious mind.
When I close my eyes and all I see are your beautiful eyes.
The way they look right through me making it hard for me to lie.
Don't change who you are to please someone else, just stay the way you are.
Hopefully one day you'll understand that you were always mine.
Deep within a garden grew. Suddenly things began looking brand new. It never really made sense to me, how something so small could grow so beautifully. All that was needed was a little TLC. So many things fell apart and the last thing I needed was those things on my heart. A weight has been lifted and I don't feel so weighed down. I use to keep everything inside of me then I realized those things weren't meant to be a part of me. At times I felt so lost and didn't think I had a cause. All those people who made me feel worthless made me realize I am worth it. I wear my heart on my sleeve and pray they don't tear it away and make me bleed. See hidden inside o...
The Butterfly and You
A constant thought that never fades, someone so special you keep me amazed. Like the beautiful sun on a rainy day, I watched you become a butterfly and then you flew away.
It made me sad to see you go, after spending so many months watching you grow.
I never thought it would be like this, watching you get lost in the morning mist. I prayed one day you'd come back to me and each day you didn't, it put a lot on me.
I hoped one day that you would see that even as a caterpillar, you still meant so much to me.
Something so small had suddenly become my all.
As the seasons changed and the days turned into night, I wished and wished with all my might that one day y...
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
A passion unguarded and lust unknown.
Mixing temptation with timid seduction.
A curling sensation reaches my toes.
I never thought it could be like this.
Now I wish it could stay like this.
We both know its just for a moment.
Then we go back to the things unnoticed.
A memory is made.
And a fate is sealed.
Is it too late to go back still?
Sweet words are said a desire is born.
Yet, how can I know when it's forbidden to me?
I'm not suppose to want this as much as I do.
But, I can't help it when you do me the way you do.
Soft touches and midnight blushes.
A warmness has engulfed us.
The way you hold me keeps me safe.
I can't im...
Damaged Yet Still Unbroken
Look into the mirror
What do you see?
Do you see what I see?
I see a person beautiful and loved
Once filled with pain and misery
And hated by all.
You've been beat down
Until you couldn't stand
Praying for God to take you now.
A broken heart put back together
The thick shards of unfit pieces
Tearing apart what little you had left.
Like a tattered shirt caught on a nail
That little tug was all that was needed
To make that once tattered shirt
Into a battered object.
No one like tattered shirts anyway.
Out of all that
You got up becoming stronger every day.
What do you see
When you look in a mirror? ...
A silhouette emerges from the dark as a cool wind picks up in the park. A lone figure sat a on bench and looked up with surprise. I know you she says. We use to be close. Then you forgot about me. It was you who has forgotten me the figure says. Who am I? I can't seem to remember. I am the beautiful dreamer . I still can't remember. Let's go way back and I'll give you a refresher. We met when you were just a child. You were hidden in the corner, I get it you were abandoned by your mother. An innocent kid filled with grace, determination and lots of imagination. We went on many adventures you and I. We dreamed of love, fun and laughter. You wanted to be Sup...
Hidden and deceived by a fate unseen. A distant memory lost in a dream. Emotions unfocused with tender devotions.
Forever unspoken and never forgotten.
Challenged by love defeated by hate, misguided disgrace.
Clinging to the laughter destroyed by that bastard.
The smiles never last and the pain doesn't fade.
Struck by disaster.
Chaotic ques but she seems subdued. Stuck by a monster used and abused.
An innocence lost, burned by the fire. Consumed and undesired.
Broken, too many things unspoken.
A love lost, drowned in disgust.
A hatred of oneself.
Finally the veil has been lifted.
A changed fate, no more pain and hate.
A forgotten love has been foun...
What I Wish I Could've Said
I am completely broken from the things you out me through. You made me feel like I was nothing and on would never be good enough for you. Yet the sad thing is you left me broken. I would've done anything for you and still this is what I get. I don't hate you. I hate when you've become and I'm upset that I can't change you. Only you have the power to do that. But mark my words what goes around comes back and eventually you'll realize I'm the best thing that could've happened to you and still you left me broken. So here's to you for making me realize that I deserve so much better and one day you'll wake up and I'll be gone. So here's to you.
Stuck in a world feeling out of place.
Lost and alone, a hidden disgrace.
A tale of of girl who feels misplaced. Hidden by a mask, shattered by the past.
Plastered with a smile a trait she had mastered.
Hiding all the pain, hate, anger and distain.
Inside she is guarded, just take a look where she started.
Thrown through the fire burning with desire.
A heart wanting to be loved.
Yet all they do is judge.
Judge her for mistakes.
Making her feel internal self hate.
Judge her by her accomplishments and make her feel resentment.
Then he showed up.
Never making her feel unwanted.
Letting her know there's no need to be guarded.
Its OK to make mistakes and relish in...
Watching them leave
was hardest for me.
Hearing them scream
and watching them bleed.
Terror in my eyes.
Love is what they called it.
Each word felt like bullets.
Taken from me.
Abandoned and abused.
Upset and confused.
He rescued me.
A brand new world.
In a place so small I made it my all.
By staying hidden in my room.
Oh no here he comes.
I need someone to hold me.
I've been used.
Then he rescued me.
Love to me is one of a kind.
Over time things mess up our minds.
From broken promises to misunderstandings to issues of the past.
Making us wonder how long will this last?
We gave it all to this endless pleasure.
Not really realizing its hazardous danger.
From toxic love to a broken heart Let it be real for just this once.
We love so we can feel but what if all we feel is empty?
Love seems to have abandoned me.
Constant emotions content with feeling nothing.
Is this how its meant to be?
Maybe I don't understand love.
No one ever showed it to me.
Maybe it's why I close myself off hiding this disease?
Is it really a disease?
One day I'll understand and get my heart...
Just a Girl
I am a girl
Who falls in love too fast.
I am a girl
Worried about getting close to people too fast.
I am a girl
Who puts a smile on for everyone else but, internally losing myself.
I am a girl
I get hurt
I am damaged
Somehow I'm still whole.
I am a girl
Some days I cry more than laugh.
But I'm just a girl.
A girl who knows with pain there is healing.
I am a girl
Trying to get through life.
People don't stay long enough to see the real me.
I am a girl
Who loves red and sunsets.
I am a girl that smiles because I know that this is just another day in the the life of Tanisha White.
Tomorrow is a new day.
But to them
I am Just a Girl.
To Be Me
I was six when I lost my mother.
No she isn't gone but to me she mind as well be.
Abandoned by my father.
The one person who knew me. But did he really know me?
Basketball is my passion.
I could careless about the latest fashion.
I love with everything I have.
And constantly feel let down.
No one there to talk to.
So I put this shell around me.
Keeping people away from me.
Father is it really meant to be?
Longing to chase my dreams.
Yet I'm stuck chasing streams.
Not knowing where they'll lead.
Some days I am happy go lucky.
But lately I've been feeling yucky.
Emptiness is swallowing me.
Trying to cast me in the dark.
I should be use to this by now.
My heart is confused and so am I
The moment you walked into my life it all began to make sense I was sure I died
Hearing your voice and seeing you smile
Kept making my heart run miles and miles
Your voice seduced me with heavy temptation
Yet in that moment I saw something was changing
I felt lost
I felt confused
I felt like the only thing that mattered was seeing you choose
I thought it was special and yet to you I'm unstable
An unwanted cliché
I use to think about you daily
Now you cross my mind rarely
I may have issues but you got problems
I'm not saying your life is full of drama
But take it back to your mama
My heart wa...
Say Hello to the Bad Guy
Say hello to the good guy.
He's sweet, he's charming and full of laughter.
But behind closed doors he's a raving monster.
He hurts you and says mean things to you.
Then he buys flowers and apologizes.
Say hello to the bad guy.
He's got his own personal style and he's covered in tattoos.
Would you believe he's a great father?
He takes his kid to practice and says it's okay to cry.
We all hurt a little inside.
But to you, he's the bad guy.
Say hello to the shy guy.
Quiet he maybe but it's just his personality constantly plagued by childhood memories.
Sit down and have a chat you'll see, there's so much more to him underneath.
Moments of Happiness
Memories fade like photographs
We all wish some moments would last.
Playing outside, grass stains on jeans, brush cuts on knees and no one to please.
We had it all in our childish dreams.
We got older and introduced to what it really means to be an adult.
We experienced love.
We experienced loss.
We found friendships and everlasting bonds.
And sometimes even cried.
Yet we always knew, that keep down inside we'd still have those childhood memories.
Cherish these Moments of Happiness.
Two Sides of the Story
Daydreaming my life away.
Fantasy surpasses the reality.
Nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide.
These skeletons are catching up with me.
I thought I had locked them away.
Praying they would just fade away.
Skeletons of regret, pain and hurt.
Abandoned by the people who were suppose to love me, to care for me, to make me happy.
Yet, they destroyed me.
Starved for attention.
Feeling this resentment.
Why was it only me?
They said it was what needed to be done.
That it was for the best.
Father time why won't you let me rest?
Holding on to this anger that is ripping me apart.
They don't see the damage though just what they've always seen.
Inside I am torn between loving...
Your eyes remind me of dark blue skies.
When I look into them I drown.
How come this is happening?
Maybe it's the way you smile.
It feels me with heartwarming chills.
Disillusioned by fantasy.
Hell bent on breaking free.
Emptiness just seems to swallow me.
Through a dark pit I fall.
Although I see nothing at all.
Never once did I question who I was
I thought I could make you happy.
But I guess I am all wrong.
See it's been proven you don't like me at all.
I try to be happy yet all that greets me are brick walls.
I can't make you feel and I can't make you see that there is so much more to me.
Yet all I feel is empty.
A voice echoes in the dark,
why have you abandon me?
What lesson is there here for me?
Inside I am dying.
Yet what we fail to see, is somethings just happen so we can finally see.
We are all broken scattered p...
Life is crazy.
Bad things happen to good people.
All the while bad people have good things happen.
Losing my mind.
This throbbing feels like somebody knocking.
Been lost for so long.
We forgot we existed
We're numb all over.
We feel no pain.
Yet, we break you apart each and everyday.
Broken pieces shattered.
Parts of my heart and soul.
Lost without direction.
Hoping to find your way.
We make new promises.
We break new promises.
Yet, we seek a redemption.
Why must I feel so alone?
I am unwanted.
I am not appreciated.
But, I try to keep God's promises.
I give so much and want so little.
Why doesn't anyone care about me?
I can't stop making mistakes.
I can belie...
And then he smiled. That's when she knew everything was going to be just fine.
Can I just have a moment of your time? I never ask for it but, just for a moment that's all I need. I need to get somethings off my chest. See if you knew me way back then you'd ask who are you? I never had friends to call on the phone to talk about crushes or hair or make up. Or anything girly for that matter. I made some really good girlfriends but, none like that. You'd know I don't say much but when I do it's really too much. And it's too much. I don't know if I can keep friends. I don't know how many God's labelling as temporary but, looks like a few. Today I realized that as much as you think you got it together you really don't. Today made me realize that life happens whether I like it...
You know sometimes there's this huge part of me that wishes that I could use whatever I've learned so far and go back in time and apply it to my life. Kids want to grow up so fast. Little girls learning to twerk from their mothers. Little boys disrespecting their mothers because they see daddy doing it. I wish I could go back because we all say this skinned knees are easier to heal than broken hearts. Don't grow up to fast because I say this in all honesty its tough being an adult. We have money worries and relationship issues. Sometimes we have no clue how we're going to cover this or that. We learn that some friends aren't who they say they are and we worry about bills. Family is harder to ...
GET IT TOGETHER
OK now you've completely got the entire world hooked on your life now what are you gonna do? Excuse me for my foul language but I need to get some shit off my chest. Bitches got the whole world involved on their life and then have a bitch fit when we start commenting on it. If you didn't want the fucking world involved then you shouldn't have posted it. Look don't get me wrong I do that shit too but really? Come on now. Man these muthafuckers got me feeling some type of way. Look we all are guilty of talking shit and thinking we can get away with it. But what y'all don't realize is that shit catches up to you one way or another. I don't like fake Bitches who rathe...
Let me put it to you like this; you will never get that happy ending you crave if you continuously hang on to past regrets. When you finally learn that it's gonna be too late so enjoy what you got. #letgo
Wanted: Sexy Italian
THAT'S IT I WANT AN ITALIAN.
Yes I most certainly do. There is something definitely sexy about a man with an accent. As for why I want an Italian it's because every girl dreams of being serenaded with romance every day.
That's not the only reason see with an Italian they know how to respect their women. And these guys over here will tear down a woman where she stands if he doesn't like what he sees.
Don't get me wrong not all women are angels. We are probably the most over opinionated, emotional, confused and misunderstood human beings in the world. We make those issues ourselves because we like making things complicated it's in our nature.
But, back to the...
Letting go isn't suppose to be easy.You're gonna be mad and frustrated yet, you know it's time. Letting go isn't something that I'm known for. You see I hold on because I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid once I let go I'll lose everything. Letting go means accepting things as they are. It's not about working for something that isn't there. Letting go means that I'm ready. Ready to be who I'm suppose to be. Letting go means leaving my past behind me. It means moving on to something better. Yet fearing it'll be exactly the same. Letting go is letting everyone know that it's time. Letting go means finally saying I've had enough. Letting go means taking back me. Letting go...
Growing Up To Fast
Yes I know you don't want to hear about it because we say that too much. Mostly about children and yet, when we were young we wanted to be adults already. We didn't realize that what we wanted so bad wasn't what we thought it was. For me personally I always wanted to be an adult. I mean they got whatever they wanted and didn't ask for it. They weren't worried about fitting in with the in crowd. They had freedom and jobs. I didn't see the struggle I just saw the reward. Like many of us actually. We saw the reward. Did you know there's more to bring an adult than just reaping in the rewards? As an adult we fall in love and then end up hurt. We worry about bills and our...
We all want that you know. We all want something new. New cars, new careers, new love, new encounters. Just new. But, new things take time. Yet, sometimes they're completely unexpected like a brand new baby. Yet, what she wanted more than anything is happiness. Happiness always seemed to slip right by her. She's holding on and that's why all that seems to be slipping away. She's holding herself back but every time she asks why there's never a reason. She was afraid to be happy because she feels like once she gets it she doesn't want to lose it. Lonely that's what she's been feeling as if something was missing. Little did she know all she wanted had always been right...