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Tarun Kushwah

PO# 322846
India
India
A lazy, random guy filled with uttermost curiosity.
March 15, 2019
 

It's so dangerous to play with someone's emotions because you have no idea the damage you are causing.

Don't be with someone just because you feel alone for a period of time. Don't just be with someone to fill in your gaps. Imagine what that would feel like if someone did that to you.

When someone disappears, don't let them reappear just because they feel like it. And if you've ever faced that - just remember, “it's better they did it now rather than later on.”

-AssortedSoul

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY
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January 12, 2019
 

Don't trade who you are for who you think the world needs.

- Assorted Soul

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
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February 24, 2018
 

Do people want to inflict the hurt that they have gone through on the people that they love and who hurt them in the first place? Would it make us horrible, horrible human beings?

-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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February 23, 2018
 

It has been so long. I've not felt like this in a while. I want to love someone.

Someone? Anyone?

You.

I felt that way too once. I thought I had so much love to give. I went around looking for people to give it to. But people don't stay long enough. So I taught myself a better use of that love. I divide it now, equally, between myself and my work.

-AssortedSoul

GREY AND WHITE
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February 22, 2018
 

I said I would never talk to you again. Yet, I did. Again. And again. And again. Everyday. Daily. In my head.

-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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February 20, 2018
 

They judge themselves, enough, everyday, daily. Their tragedy is not in the fact that they die or get killed in the end. It is in what they let die between them and what they killed inside of them, while they lived. Their careers are those of calculating villains, but their characters those of penitent, remorseful, conscience-stricken, scared, mad, haunted ghosts of former glorious selves, and oddly enough the two lines can run parallel and even meet.

No, I do not judge them. I am them.

-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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February 13, 2018
 

She is fond of me.

Fond? That's such a sorry, meaningless word. So hollow. Do you want to be fond of yourself?

Well, she likes me. I think she does. I think I have seen kindness in her eyes when she looks at me. And tenderness. She is patient with me. She could have left. There's nothing stopping her anymore. But she's here, you know.

Always?

No one is there for anyone always. But when I really need her, and when she knows I need her, in those devastating, crushing moments, she shows me she cares. I think she even loves me, in her own strange, weird way.

And how long did you take to convince yourself of this lie?

Who would I be without these lies? :)

-AssortedSoul

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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January 13, 2018
 

You had come, unasked. Knocked on the door, uninvited. You were let in. Given a spare key. Accepted, acknowledged, embraced, fed, nourished, gradually worshipped, and eventually loved. You stayed and healed, bit by bit, everyday, daily. And now you want to leave. Maybe because you have discovered that, that was a magic key which only gets heavier with time.  Maybe because you don't want to afford the rent. Maybe because you have healed completely. Maybe because you had always planned on leaving.

Maybe because you are selfish. Simple.

But remember, you had come unasked.

-AssortedSoul

FORTIFIED
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January 11, 2018
 

To his Brain: Have you ever learnt to be quiet? Shut Up, please. I've had enough!

Brain to him: You're screaming at the wrong person. It's your heart, silly!

-AssortedSoul

MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE
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January 10, 2018
 

And have you ever allowed the Rain to kiss you and caress you, love you and make love to you? You'll rarely find a more passionate lover.

-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 8, 2018
 

Have you ever been able to keep track of the shifting tectonic plates of your heart, over cups of shared coffee?

- AssortedSoul

A NEW DAY
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January 3, 2018
 

Hi.

I lost some weight recently: 13 kgs in the last 2 months. It hasn't made me happy. Most people look happy/ feel happy/ pretend to be happy in such a situation but I have only been reminded of how I've lived my entire life seeking acknowledgement. Ever since I was little every time I played the piano or wrote a story or topped in an exam or sang a song or painted on the walls or translated a poem I sought acknowledgement: from mum and dad or best friend or favourite teacher, someone or the other, always. Maybe I was born that way. I realized that I've perhaps never really done anything that has defined my life in any significant way for myself alone. I lost weight seeking acknowledgement...

FORTIFIED
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December 31, 2017
 

"Gift me a metaphor", she said.

- "You are a necklace of fireworks. You light from both ends."

-Assorted Soul

CHRISTMAS ICON
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December 29, 2017
 

But I am not a palace anymore,
Only a housing cooperative with flats now
And their endless claimants.
This one is for the husband,
Those for the children,
That for the old mother-in-law,
The remaining nooks and crannies
Divided among guests, relatives.

I am Draupadi,
Shared, though differently, you know.
I don’t have it in me to give you my all, all over again,
Like before. But I’ll try, I still can –
Roaring rivers do not die at low tide.

-Assorted Soul

WOMAN
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October 7, 2017
 

You too have aged then, have you?
Submitted to the authority of decline?

In my eyes, though, I still see you wearing that crown,
I still see that royal umbrella spread over your crown.

I see those stars which have kept alive in their flesh
And their bones the wisdom of their ancestors,
Hop
‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Skip
‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍Hop
‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍Towards your eyes, like sparrows, like mynahs,
Looking to build permanent nests.

What have you not got in life?
Why this hurt, angry pride?

If I could check this wave of destruction
By ...

RANDOM ACTS OF POETRY - DAY
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July 3, 2017
 

What a woman does at night, whom she talks to, goes out on walks with or eats with or plays with should be her business, entirely and not subject to your dirty judgement. Some day, just for day perhaps, focus on how she employs her time from sunrise to sunset. You'll be surprised to know, there's much much more to her than you are willing to give her credit for..

-AssortedSoul

RESPECT
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May 28, 2017
 

He: The thesaurus that I have been following lists 'love' as one of the ten saddest words in the English language.

She: I have heard of this school of thought which says love isnt love unless there is a little bit of tragedy involved.

He: I belonged to that school too, till a couple of weeks ago. That's when I realised how I had been romanticising tragedy all my life and that when real pain hits you, all such notions of poetry and being elevated to tragic pedestal collapse immediately.

-AssortedSoul

STRIPE ME A LOGO
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March 3, 2017
 

I will pass through you, my beloved city,
Only once
Like a ship with a merchandise of spices passing through a shore
Only once
Like a cloud shaped like a heavenly city
Passing through your sky only once
Like a mendicant with a moon-crown
Passing your door for alms
Only once
Like a snow flower appearing
In your sun-lit winter morning
Only once
Like a soft breeze that fondled your exhausted body unforgettably
Only once
I too will pass through you
Only once
O my beloved city
Of many joys
Of many taverns with oldest wines
Of temples with forgotten deities of the earth
I will bring nothing to you
I will take nothing from you
Only this fragrance I was born with
That comes with me everywhere
Will I ...

SIMPLE STRIPES
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February 18, 2017
 

When the sun comes up this silence will melt
And evaporate through our skins.
You, who has witnessed,
And I, who have travelled
And the stories we seek in our dissected
monologues
will no longer require the jaded
brilliance of words.
Perhaps even wisdom will be found
at the bottom of teacups
and all other places we are afraid to
look.
Because it is still cold.
When the mist clears a travelogue will
be burnt
of journeys undertaken in hardship and alone.
And all that we have lost in migration
Will be retrieved by us.
One by one.
Till we find within each other’s voids
What we sometimes feel is lost.
-AssortedSoul

SIMPLE STRIPES
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February 17, 2017
 

How did you realise that you're no longer in love with her?
I stopped waiting.
-AssortedSoul

SIMPLE STRIPES
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February 15, 2017
 

Delete chat history?
Yes.
No. NO. Fuck. Nononono. Goddamnitno. N.O. Fuck.
And with one careless yes, that could not be undone, he managed to undo all the carefully targeted NOs that had been the reason of his undoing, thread by veinlike-thread, over the last fifty four nights.
Our histories, like our memories, are nothing but stories. A new one is only one wayward word away.
-AssortedSoul

SIMPLE STRIPES
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February 13, 2017
 

We were in love onceuponatime, the writer and I. Some years ago. I still read the letter that I now no longer have, the one she wrote to me on our last night:
Words so beautiful and heartless, the memory of it turns me cold.
-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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February 5, 2017
 

I've learnt better than to trust the plans we make/once made will ever materialise; it's time to disintegrate from the "we" that we once were, to the "you" and "I" that we have/must eventually become.

-AssortedSoul

HEARTBREAK
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February 3, 2017
 

How do you know when you're truly finished with a book? Or, let's say, a person?

-AssortedSoul

LETTRS BLACK AND WHITE
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January 25, 2017
 

And our age has seen relationships reduced from people dearly loved to elusive green dots on social media, till that little light stops flickering altogether.
-AssortedSoul

OUR LOVE
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January 18, 2017
 

Delirious, unsure,
breathing for no purpose at all.
Yet colours have not abandoned me.
They hold their horses once in a while and then return.
In memorable flashes
of earnest exhibition.
Companions there are too few.
Colours never abandon me.
They stay subtle in melancholy and uncertainty,
they linger in happiness.
I drink alone, at times,
for the sheer lack of friends.
Colours and me.
Rum and me and colours.
-AssortedSoul

SIMPLE STRIPES
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January 17, 2017
 

I'm standing at these crossroads wanting to taste every direction and be smitten by fragrances unknown, but my feet stay chained to an iron pillar and a post which says 'dead end.'
-AssortedSoul

BASEBALL
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January 16, 2017
 

Sometimes, the rage within,
begins to scare you. For the slightest spark vents out such hatred, the shock resounds through your core. The realization that you hold so much bottled inside and although you do not speak, yet it runs in your mind and then goes back to the corner bigger and stronger for it has won the battle again.
-AssortedSoul

HAVE FAITH
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January 15, 2017
 

And the last words they utter just before they are about to leave tells you everything there is to know about them.
But listen carefully, as sometimes they speak themselves but on most occasions, a guilty silence will speak for them.
-AssortedSoul

BASEBALL
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January 13, 2017
 

Life sucks, anyway. I met you and it got weird. And, you were so amazing. And I? I just wanted a little more time. So all in all I'd say, you were the worst thing that happened to me.

- Keith (2008)

BASEBALL
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