The sweetest feeling is when you know, in spite of your every fall, you were true to yourself at every step.

That you can still see in the eyes of the one you love the most, without a pinch of guilt, to say that you failed.

That is when you stop equating failing to loosing and success to winning.

How could I not notice how the breeze played with your hairs that evening. And what the sunshine did with your gleaming eyes on the sunset. However hard of a shell I would have hidden myself in, I couldn’t do much.

You looked beautiful, dangerously..

Sometimes I think, that there is still something left to hear from you. Like those letters you wrote to me but never sent. Because you preferred to read them to me instead, but again you never did. Somethings, like the mindless talk you needed to blabber when you would be drunk, but just to me, just me by your side. May be, also the audit of our feelings before we parted.

But now to think of it, not you, but I was waiting to hear something from myself. The closure I sought was just a matter of reorganizing the sham of my thoughts, which you beautifully arranged, like a house of cards, and blew it away in an instant.

Closures are realization of happiness by means you never thought of. And re...

WorldOfDifference

Isn’t the world colored in thousand shades
Like the faces we wear but our hearts are hollow
Locking the doors made with glass panes
Buildings went taller and people went shallow

Couldn’t the world be more beautiful
Sleeping streets and unheard screams
Hard floor and slippery hearts
Cunning minds with fragile dreams

Aren’t we lost between those thousand shades
Like fireflies we got carried away
Walking away from the commitments  
The footsteps we left behind faded away

We just wonder now how it would have been
To love not just the words we would need
Eyes could have spoke thousand words
And it would’ve been still easier to read

however much we wrote
about the home we never had
deep inside we always knew
the colors we held were myriad

did we really fall in love
to be the muse in our poetry
when words turned mundane
we betrayed our own probity

so we started slugging off
and secretly let the fate win
selfishly blinded in the craving
for a new adventure to begin

so stop justifying yourself
in all the wrong ways possible
say that you truly loved me
let’s not make this so methodical

hug me like i belong in you
kiss me instead when you sigh
let it be your keepsake to me
before you say the last goodbye

Looking at you every time was so overwhelming. I couldn’t fathom those emotions when they gushed through my heart like a waterfall. Eventually I could tell what effects they had, but never be able to express how inherently it touches me. Not able to put them down in words, that what part of it made me smile and contented.

And every time I looked at you, that is what I feared. The uneasiness of not knowing what makes me happy. I knew this would come to a pass. You will not be there at some point in time with me. And it scared me to death, to not be able to figure out until then, that what it was about you that made me felt everything else beautiful.

I was scared, that when you’re not here,...

lurking in the dark quietly
when the moon shines bright
for you are not meant
to light up someone’s world

you are that tiny star
that no one will praise for
until it breaks your heart
and you part from their sky

The one thing I am thankful about her is that when she was with me, she was there with all of her. I never worried for asking her time for me. And when she loved me, she loved me such that I need not wonder if she loves me. She would let me know of that, holding me close, running her fingers in my hairs, very loud and clear, every time.

i may be under a notion
i may be wrong all along
Trying to change hearts
by the only way i know

but i will keep doing it
things for you in subtle ways
and you’ll keep finding them
the joy in those small things

hoping for a day to come
when the happiness i gathered  
will be enough for your heart
to loose balance of your lips

that day you will smile
and the one responsible for it
will solely be me and that’ll be
my last keepsake for you

Empathy. I still have it for you. I might not be good at socializing. Might not be good at holding people close to me. I would not say something that you may want to hear. But when you were genuinely happy or drenched in despair, I did slip my feet in your shoes. I rejoiced in your small little happiness and I rowed in your ocean of sorrow.

Even if you might not know about, but I have empathy for you, and a part of you still belongs in me. I wish you enjoy your freedom now, in the world you made on the broken pieces of your own desires, by giving up on your insecurities.

I wish I really could mean it when I would say you were the best thing to me. Because others might have hated me. But you...

I still remember the funny games you played
Keeping notes in my pocket so I find them later
Letting me know why you grinned all day
Never told you but I saw through all of them

Never told you that I never read your notes
Your secrets just seeped through your smiles
I know you enough for your smiles to be enough
For me to know what you have always wanted

And you were always enough to push me places
That you thought I would never go for you
But isn’t this now one of the many things
That you regret being late to know about

We both very well know that what  hell is like
When we lost the grip to our only source of light
It still feels like cheating on you after this long
But you are not the o...

Sometimes, just the company of that one person is far more rewarding than all the materialism in this world..

And how many times
Would you get sad
For his gifts that
Weren’t meant for you

And how many times
Would you look at the sky
To find his light there
When you are not even his moon

Let yourself be swung over
To the galaxy you don’t know
You will find your world there
Waiting for you, you will see

Our fingers stayed intertwined
Mesmerized in the love we found
Writing how pretty the world is
When we stood on our fairgroud

Weren’t we lost enough already
That together we wanted to be
To get lost in each other again
But were we what we needed to be

It’s our sin that we didn’t seek
The answers to our insecurity
That I feel now in your absence
That you seek now in my poetry

I thought love is just love
To replace the old I can use new
Like a child I craved for it
To taste the one I once knew

And no it couldn’t satiate
When in my arms she snuggle
It feels like someone else’s piece
That do not fit in my set of puzzle

Who are you to decide
To cut the threads holding me
So easily like you never cared
Leaving with thousand loose ends

And still keep holding the threads
All my many broken threads
Still controlling me like a puppet
To dance in someone else’s show

Those curled up arms around me
You weren’t trying to hold just me
But your shattering world so tight
Hoping to set everything right

Breaking down and while getting up
You did make incisions on my skin
But isn’t the scars carved beautifully
When I try to hold your love so closely

They aren’t something for you to bother
They are something for me to boast of
That with just two hands of mine to brace
I held thousand pieces of you in place

i see each of your feet
is a foot deep in ground
and my heart goes so uneasy
to see the efforts you put in
in your every smile when you fall

but that smile of yours
inherently changes the meaning
of all your failures, and those scars
of yours seldom realized
suddenly seem so beautiful

you don’t realize, that of all
you are no puppet, rather
the strings attached to you
pull me up from my slumbers
and tie up my fragile dreams

do you feel it
the suffocation
in your room
with thousand windows
but no door

do you feel it
my patience
waiting outside
for you
to open the door

isn’t the mist looks beautiful
like you, it surely knows the art
to hide that which is painful but true
but again, it surely fades away

oh yes i did learn enough
that it is never the right person
until you ask the right question
this time, are you here to stay?

i fear
i fear looking behind
that how far i have come
leaving behind places
leaving behind people
places i loved and
people who loved me back

i fear
i fear to not to see
my own footsteps behind me
my only hope to get back home
but of all what i fear the most
that while on this journey of mine
i ignorantly became so selfish
to not to leave any footprints behind

How bad will you feel if someone promised to meet you at a rendezvous, but didn't show up?
How long can you wait?

So, what do you think, the dreams promised by you and adventures entitled to you, will wait if you are not showing up?
How long will they wait?

and years later while drinking
in some locale down the street
i will catch you in the corner
where we used to meet

i will sit beside you holding your hand
fingers intertwined like our stars
your face resting on my shoulder
and my eyes contemplating your scars

stroking your hair and kissing your cheek
and when you open your eyes you'd freeze
you won't find me there not anymore
that would be just how memories breeze

Was it our own share of happiness
That made us happy
Or was it the trading of places
For shedding each other's tears

how come your eyes
could still swallow up
of all that was left
of my underlying world

and how come your smile
could be so perfectly aligned
filling depths of all my voids
like a long lost jigsaw piece

..and every
small little thing
you did made
butterfly effects
in my world..

You were the one end
out of thousands
I didn't think about..

Thousand layers of you
Like petals of the wildflower
Of all your petals
I could just know four

Thousand colors of the dusk
Like the sky you have wore
Of all your colors
Honey mine isn't one anymore