congratulations to everyone that almost completed fifth month of 2020, in total you have survived:
-A worldwide killer virus outbreak
-world war III threats
- climate change bushfires
- volcanic eruptions
- four earthquakes in a month
- Justin Bieber yummy song
we go again
may the odds be even in your favour...
Nowhere girl such long- landing
Pain like heavyweight punches
Chaos of wings
Inside my head
Sleep beside me in bed
One hope an impossible dream
And then he spoke how can it be
The word he said weren't right but wrong
But perhaps after all the problem is me?
My hunger has grown impossibly too huge
I'm woman with no one and nothing to lose....
I get jealous
Even when people
With their heart
And forget to be kind ..
I lost myself again but i remember him .
He is six feet under
And i still wonder
is his grave water by rain .
Will greenry groom
Or roses bloom again
Our love is died long before
Does remains will be same?
Everything was wrong
but they still played our song ..
BEE STING KISSES
Needle tounge . Whiskey breath
Cinder hands and agonizing death.
You frown with your eyes and kiss with your fist
Leaving me wishing . love dismissed..
Hammer heart. Bee sting pout
Lovely lies delicate doubt
You walk with corruption and argue with venom
Leaving me.... momentum? Phantom? Random ?
I have no hope for the future
Therefore i hold on the beautiful moments from the past
Once i was in love
I lived the most beautiful love story in the world
Lived and it ended
And when he travelled the world , he did not forget me
So somewhere i remained in his thoughts
Even if we have no future together we have the past at least ..
And this is my only consolation...
Says"memories that will last a lifetime"
What u will do if those memories starts gonna blur ?
U can't remember the exact words and voice?
It's like mind Dotting but there is nothing u remember..
It's Like a dream that u watched in last faded Winters.
And everything snap ! U open your eyes and ohhh it's actually winters...
Imagining someone above the clouds suddenly six feet under..
Isn't all of these illusion ?
And all of sufden your brain crave for that person who is exactly a ghost..
There are things i cannot control
And memories i can never erase
And in time when i feel alone
I always search your face..
I never saw you but i can see you in different things
Like a brightest star in a sky
Like a crmbled leaf of autumn fall.
Like a clear cut diamond of my artificial ring
Sometimes in my dreams
I lost track about everything
I'm waiting Alone and alone
will i ever get a chance to see you or it's just a dumb thing?
0 -my birthday today , it's special i know ,birth of another year and another chance to grow.
2 -is special
0 -a time to pause and reflect look back without sorrow
0 -and look forward unchecked
0 -my birthday is special it's time to break rules, and live my life making sure
my dreams will come true..
Happy birthday to me 🎂
Roses are red violets are blue
I know it's tough but you will make it through
I know your heart is break
So his also screwed
You will cry and make excuse about your fake flue
But your Friends at your side
Ready to hold you
After that you still have so much left and so many things to do..
It's just heart pain maybe gonna take your soul with you
You will going to heal one day
Suddenly out of blue
Silly thoughts occurs like making tattoos
I know you thinking how all this true
But girl Roses are still red and
Violets still be blue
They will be here for while so should you.
I never knew how strong i was until i had to forgive some one who wasn't sorry and accept an apology i never received.
I think sometimes it's better just let be things and let people go and stop expectating explanations and answers. Things never go the way we want them to go in our life we need to go with the flow.
Always hope but never expect. Also always expect more from yourself than others . Expectations from others hurt more and expectation from yourself inspire alot.
Some people survive disarray
That is how they grow
And some thrive in disarray
Because disarray all they know.....
People remember birth date
I remember my molestation date
I'm not victim in my case
I'm surviver who survive that cascade
It's a lie if i say those moments weren't painful
Thinking about, telling someone seems like shameful
Offender was never punished
What a 12 years old girl can do to make them believe
I did survive those memories
I'm surviving now sometimes those hands haunt
Same hands ,same touch feels like I'm in again same transport
I'm tougher and stronger now
My innocence are buried deep down
Today is not celebration day for me it's a change I'm looking now
I did survive before
I can survive those echo somehow
I'm a warrior
maybe best replacement of survivor....
I must admit her growing age scares me
From wrinkle skin to high BP
From weak teeth to her trying to smile deeply
The way her hands tremble when she makes tea
Her growing age and I'm afraid of it.
From her tenderness to her moderate voice
From her celebration style to her rejoice
Me slouching my shoulders and she playfully hit.
I wish i could freeze each and every moments from yesterday to upcoming days...
But her words says"there is fountain of youth in my mind so you don't need to tense I still have lot of time left"
From her suspiciously asking about my love life to sudden interest in my valentine..
She says it's her inner blaze ...
She still feel her young days craze
She's like ...
I've been trying to sleep
But it's my dream and they are very deep
It's my nightmare of macro economics
And it's the devil of business mathematics
My yesterday dream was to getting A plus
My today nightmare is completing this class up
I want to show my law teacher my love towards"bangles" and "lip balm" is not brain surface
Talking about them like a losing my all day to day stress
I don't have much social life left
Three months and my exams are hell
I'm still preparing my tax assignment
And thinking too deeply how many grades I could get......
I don't know what to say ...
But don't "drop"a single word even it's "hey"...
We had good time few weeks and some days..
When things start falling apart you run away...
Now I'm shut like all this is my mistake...
Just don't "drop" a single word, don't want to be your headache...
It's an apology for wasting time and make you forcefully stay...
And it was lie all the time because i actually care..
Stuff happened all time it's just one of them
Don't "drop" a fake message i don't want you to blame
I'm still waiting for genuine reply ...
"Drop" a decent Letter maybe a goodbye....
I loved words
I'd always loved words
I loved the freedom you could find in them.
I loved manipulating them
I loved the way they sounded
I loved the power they held
But sometimes, sometimes
They weren't enough.......
You are not scared of dark,
You scared of monsters inside the darkness...
You are not afraid of love
You afraid of falling on wrong person...
You are not afraid of hope
You just afraid of disappointments.....
You are not afraid to let go
You just afraid to accept the reality he's gone....
You are not afraid to move on
You just afraid of doing same mistake again.....
You are not afraid to write
You just afraid of embarrassment that someone gonna find mistakes....
You are not afraid to find a new Friend
You just afraid of rejection....
You are not afraid people gonna hate ... just never let fear decide your fate...
Nothing in life , nothing ever
I know how bitter this sound
But it's your only truth i remember
This is my goodbye to our good memories to our bad
To our inside jokes and the ones we never quite got
And to all the what ifs we had,
and to all the plans we made.
I thought of you today
But that is nothing new,
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name
All i have your memories
And your words in my phone case.
My phone case is lost don't Know
Where it goes..
Hope it's somewhere out of my reach,like a contract that i can't breach....
You didn't go.
It cought me by surprise.
I never had somebody stay before.
It was almost like,
you wanted to stay.
I never had anybody want to stay.
It was like you loved me.
I never had anyone love me before.
What's even strange is,
you were my first boy best friend.
I never had a boy best friend before.
Along this twisted part,
I fell in love,
I never fallen in love before.
And my love,
that's the only thing,
I've ever felt certain about in my life.
I don't just listen to your words.
I watch your face
I stare into your eyes
I check out your body language
I peep your tone
I make note of your use of words
I interept your silence
I hear what you don't say
Most importantly..i trust my intuition.... I'm not psycho , it's me just being careful..
She couldn't not let go of the memories he gave her.
One day an accidental
Tap on "clear chat"did the impossible...oops
I see devil in his eyes
I see hunger in his smile
He is definition of cruelty
He is redemption of my morality
"Why" life drag me in his path
I know he is my answer from the start..,...