Precious art consumes my mind
Look, don't touch
I fill my pains with the thin lines
Look, don't touch
Fingers ache to embrace thine
Look, don't touch
I glance at you and begin to pine
Look, don't touch
You fill this space but are not mine
You want to be invested in but when it is time for dividends you are empty.
My mind wanders to things it shouldn't, pressing my nose up to the glass of someone else's story. Why do I long for the pages someone already filled. I have my own blank sheets beneath my fingers itching for originality. Life isn't something you can plagiarize, we do not need more copies of stories already told. This world lacks inventors. Stop being a sequal and start your own independent plot.
As outside influences flow through me, I struggle to find my voice. What is mine and what is borrowed? Who am I and what do I mimic? Are pieces others what make me.... me? Or am I something more? Something unique?
A letter to the men who think they are God's gift to women...
Let me see you smile, shake it, whistles
Grabbing, touching, groping, grinding
Unwanted, every single one of them
This is not how you get a woman to want you back...
Thinking is dangerous, thinking leads to worry, worry leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to panic, panic leads to irrational choices and words. My mind wanders and heart longing for comfort in it's ache. Does he reach out and offer it? Does he see my pain? Does he notice my agony? Only time will tell.
The best art is born in sorrow,
why does or heart weep more beauty than Joy can bring?
Do we truly have to lose to see what we had all along?
What can we say as we swing and sway for longing and for lust
We skip around, make the sounds but in the end it's dust
You push me down, spin me round come close to you I must
You dance away, this game we play while metal turns to rust
Our bodies yearn we take our turn, what in life is just
A sea of sheets as ours eyes meet, my dress I do adjust
Twisting, tearing, heart is pounding
What's a girl to do
I can't stop thoughts like tiny dots appearing about you
Funny how time seems to break every single rule
While past and future duel
Why, oh why, did I leave you behind?
Good friends like you are too hard to find
We fit together like gum to a shoe
It took me years to find someone like you
I miss our game nights, and our lunch dates
I miss the silly looks on your face
You are someone I can be me with
I thought a friendship like ours was only a myth
Something in movies or on pages of books
We do Stupid things and get lots of looks
Thrift stores, estate sales, gay bars, arcades
We have so much fun on our escapades
But now thousands of miles come between
Me and my best friend, where do I lean?
Hands shook, voice gone, forced drugs down my throat. Control was lost, I was floating above my body barely able to will myself to walk. They knew I was in a haze, they knew I could not fight or scream. I stumbled my way to the bathroom. They were waiting... My head hit the floor as they pushed me into the bitter cold tile. I couldn't comprehend what was happening completely but somehow I still knew. I remember my wrists burning as they held my arms, I remember my back and thighs feeling like ice, I remember feeling a weight on top of me and the air leaving the room. I remember a voice I could feel against my ear and cheek. Then, as quickly as it started, it was over. I remember a bright ligh...
What are you? where are you? Are you coming for me? I feel you near. He claims that my end will come by his hands, yet he fails. Will he ever succeed? Will rescue come for me? A glimmer of hope flickers on occasion, but is quickly snuffed out every time. I fear his success, I fear that he will be my end and I will leave the rest of my children motherless, I fear I will leave my husband a widower. The hardest thing is I have no escape. So for now I will wait, wait for a time when this will end.
I can't breathe, my mind can't catch up
My hands shake, the world is spinning
Easy does it
Closing in, dots cloud my vision
I can do this, my legs tremble
Sweaty palms, lips quivering
Objects twirl around me, where am I
Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Truth be told, this distance is cold. I cannot stand the miles you have put between our hearts. The waves of disdain you rush my way, knocking me down time and time again. My soul aches for your affection, a taste of your longing. You covet, even now, for a lost love while you lay in our bed. My skin thirsts for your fingers, caressing my curves. My body yearns for you. I want to feel your passion against my bodice, but you sleep and you dream of her while I lay here wishing I was the one who made you dream such sweet things. You say her name while you slumber. Why is it not my name on your lips?
Why must you put up such a thick wall
My voice grows hoarse from the call
The distance you build hurts so deep
I will be there to catch you, please just leap
Dare I say, I can't compare
Her eyes, her bod, her perfect hair
I cannot stand how I feel
Your love for her are still so real
I sit and pretend to be ok
But your mind is on her while we lay
I'm only your consolation prize
You see through me and into her eyes
Can I go on like this forever
I know I deserve so much better
Memories, terrors, tragedies
creep in to my present from a place I thought had left me long ago.
I cannot seem to control the things that trigger the horrors of my past.
A touch, a playful touch from the man I love brings back a flood of pain that was not his doing. I feel guilty, it is not his fault and yet he still brought me pain and neglected to comfort me through it. The scene brought confusion to us both. I need comfort and he needs clarity that I do not think I can give him, it is not even clear to in my own mind.
troubled, alone, scared
I must figure this out before I come unhinged again. I was so proud of how far I had come and now I feel I have falling back into the pit of my pa...
My soul reaches, open hands of my eternal being reach out for his. I can feel it, and I can sense his reaching back. Why, then, can they not connect? Why are they just out of reach. Two magnets force the two to stay inches apart. Do I dare to flip my magnet?
I watched him as he watched me. Both longing for the other. Days seemed like weeks without him. I had never known love before. His face was calm yet complex. He had me from the moment our eyes first met. I loved him before I knew the feeling existed. Once I was his, a serenity passed over my body, a sense of belonging. Young love grew and I never stopped caring for the boy who became a man. It has been 13 years and the man I first loved still loves me.
My hands grow cold as I wait in wonder. My body shakes uncontrollably from the empty chill. A gentle push toward the unknown end, an invitation to discover what awaits those who give into the eternal slumber. An overpowering sensation moves me to close my sapphire eyes. The hollow darkness begins to consume my being, tugging on my soul. Giving away control over my destiny seems ever so peacefull. Reality sinks in and I feel it for the first time. Purpose. My eyes flutter open, feeling the resistance from my frozen lashes. My quivering legs find the power to stand.
my fists clench, I can feel the monster within me awakening.
"GO BACK TO SLEEP!" I scream at the beast, but my willpower does nothing, my anger has overpowered me once more.
How can I allow the words of someone else to effect me so? Why can I not tame the monster within; no good comes of any conversation I am apart of once the vile creature makes his presence known.
He leaves only heartache in his path, once the evil thing returns to his slumber all that is left is regret, sorrow and pity and I am left to clean up his mess.
I have grown and he sleeps for longer stretched now, but I wish I could slay him once and for all.
I know, in the moment, my words and demeanor are not an accura...
Is it really right or wrong?
Can two people have opposing views and neither be superior?
I think sometimes we should look at situations as right and left instead.
Every day I try to make someone's day a little brighter. You never know what may be going on in that woman's life behind the register or the man who accidently bumped your shoulder. You will feel much more gratification letting things that irritate you go and treating others better than they treat you. We have all had those days where our world comes crashing down and we still have to go about our lives and do our jobs, those days would be a little more tolerable with a warm smile or a kind stranger encouraging us to pick ourselves up and know it will get better. I challenge you to say something kind to 3 strangers this week.
They say "if you are lucky you will get one great love in your lifetime."
You are mine,
But am I yours?
I feel a pain so deep for each person who has been effected by this disease, ravaging and stealing lives far too young. Cancer is a demon, forged from the fires of hell. It does not discriminate; rich, poor, strong, weak, blonde, white, black, young, old... we cannot allow this thing to continue the onslaught of so many. We must band together to slay the beast manipulating our very being, changing us into our own murderers.
Warmth turns cold without notice. Your love grows distant and I can feel the valley between us. You lay next to me, but there may as well be miles between out bodies. how can laughs become silence with such haste. Wow are you able to lie there knowing my mind cannot rest until we are well again. It hurts so deep when you steal yourself away from me. My lover, my friend.
I was born of coal, My life crashed down, time and time again. The pressure mounted with each decision I made and every outside influence. I could feel myself changing. I finally got to a place that I enjoyed and began to dig myself out. The dirt and muck became less compact with each thrust toward the surface. My hands were tired but I would not let them stop. I could see the events with each passage of space, the ones I thought were pointless and filled with only pain and sorrow. The light was more visible through the earthy grains. My fingers let out a luminescent glow. Prismatic colors escaped from my very being. I could see it but I didn't understand it. I emerged, no longer coal, now s...
Where did you come from? When did arrive? I know there was a time before you, and yet I cannot recall a single memory that does not present your face.
Pain and suffering filled my every cell for so long. I hid from the world living vicariously through characters in story books. I could not bare to look into my own life and instead created an existence I could be proud of. A year ago I made a choice to be ok with who I am, to stop looking for something better and make my life what I wanted it to be. I found the peace within myself to stop oppressing myself, I gave permission to be happy and to do what was necessary to achieve my dreams, a chance to write my own story .